To the Faculty Search Committee, I am pleased to enclose my application to your department, which has lost so many outstanding faculty members to higher ranked universities. I would be honored to win the privilege of following in their footsteps. I respectfully request that you schedule my interview as soon as possible, because I am being considered for a faculty position at Stanford, and have been told that their offer will be arriving soon. My interview was confidential, so please do not embarrass them by talking to anyone there about it. The committee may be wondering why the last publication listed on my CV is dated 1989. I have conscientiously avoided the “least publishable unit” trap, which has been so detrimental to our field. The deep and profound results, the product of decades of careful thought and experiment, that I will publish during my initial years as a faculty member in your department will, I am sure, propel it’s reputation to new heights. My varied career as an entrepreneur, community organizer, rock musician, masseuse, self-defense instructor, new media critic, and personal advisor to the heads of state of several African and Middle Eastern nations has given me a breadth of knowledge and experience that will prove invaluable in leading the kind of cutting-edge, interdisciplinary research that is an ever more important part of our field. I realize that some current members of our department, whose own research has trod a traditional rut, may have difficulty in evaluating or appreciating my strengths as a faculty colleague. If this proves to be the case, I am also prepared to serve as Dean of the College, a position for which, I understand, academic credentials are not so narrowly defined. With warm regards and anticipation, XXXXXXXXXX, PhD
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 18:48:31 +0000
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