To the person who stole my bike last night... Dear Bike Stealer (BS), I suggest a helmet. Please know that the bike you stole is a real piece of $hit bought at Walmart 3 years ago. Every gear, chain, wire and part on it is rusted and falling apart. I ripped one of the brakes off, and the other one sticks. Be careful how you ride. Any sudden stops could result in your BS face meeting the pavement. I even wrecked thst P.o.S. yesterday. I suggest knee and elbow pads. Also, it is my party bike -- meaning the frame is probably going to break from the years of abuse by potholes and my bike tricks. BD, you could end up in a ditch!! Oh, and the seat is soaked from beer (and ass sweat). Enjoy that. I suggest a paint job. The stickers should come off easily for you, BS, since theres a thick layer of mud, filth and street ass caked on the bike between the stickers and the purple frame. I suggest you wear pants. Some of the rusty wires stick out and will scratch the hell out of your BS legs. Wear pants to prevent scratches and scarring. I suggest some lube. My $hit bike screeches from the rust. You may want to address that, or Ill be able to hear that mofo from a mile away. So, my dear BS, I hope my party bike brings you as much joy as it has brought me. I have another bike and a luxury vehicle and a job, so Ill be okay. You, on the other hand, now have the worlds $hittiest bike. Good luck. Sincerely, AMR
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 14:28:36 +0000
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