Today, I am breaking with my personal tradition of vast indifference to the outcome of the Superbowl. I am behind Seattle, for a number of highly principled reasons that have nothing to do with my excitement at the idea of melting processed cheese together with salsa and eating nachos until I feel sick to my stomach. Reason #1: their uniforms are not that macho, so I feel like I need to protect them. Reason #2 The Seattle football team is in an ocean state. Which typically means more competition to obtain fans from among a population that may enjoy outdoor stuff as much as or more than: people that enjoy getting drunk, painting themselves, and often acting cheerfully and stupidly violent while watching womens boobs bounce up and down - which is in between watching heavy-set men on steroids try and send each other into a coma. Reason #3 The whole Sherman (some guy on the Seattle team) public relations debacle has really annoyed me. It seems like a desperate ploy for attention from a guy on a team. A guy that has achieved a lot of great stuff, and in doing so has been swimming upstream, counter to so many negative cultural stereotypes; stereotypes that we are happy to read in the headlines - guys with dark skin color wearing baggy pants that show their underwear either violently getting dead or stupid or mean because they are helpless victims of society, OR guys getting other people dead because they are hopeless, unbridled sociopaths that like loud, menacing music and have gold teeth. But THIS guy breaks many NEGATIVE stereotypes, and of course, I have no idea he exists until he acts like a maniac by aggressively proclaiming on TV he is really, really good. How dangerous. How impolite. Meanwhile, although I have never actually even watched a football game, through osmosis of the media, I am pretty sure if I merely utter the name Manning, I can personally obtain magic powers. Because Im pretty sure he is amazing. He fits the stereo-type, so the media loves him, and the people love the media that loves him. So are we clear on the whole paradigms that define good and evil here? Anybody not getting it yet? Anybody still not getting who creates and perpetuates those stereotypes? I mean, I love dark conspiracies, but the fact is, I CAN read. And MY brain does work. So if you want to blame anybody for our collective values, maybe think a little bit about it first. Anyway. Good, bad, or indifferent, those are my reasons for being a Seattle Seahawks fan. Today. For at least an hour. I commit to them my undying loyalty at least until noon, but my attention is already wandering. I may choose to devote instead, an homage to our corporate media moguls, in all their glory, with their power to disambiguate and obfuscate, to guide us as a society on the mystical journey of what is and should should be important for us to know about and think about as a society... Or perhaps, I will kick back and enjoy a massive toast to all of US, as readers of journalism, for getting exactly what we want and ask for, and for so clearly letting journals know exactly how low our standards are! Cheap and easy news sales, big profits all the way, baby! Grab that headline like velcro, chew it up, regurgitate it til it needs a boob-job, then lather, rinse, repeat. Now lets get ready for some boobies and comas! HAPPY SUPERBOWL SUNDAY 2014! Lets do this!
Posted on: Sun, 02 Feb 2014 19:27:36 +0000
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