Today I lit five candles - one for every decade of our married life (we almost made the sixth); and scratched my arm until it bled when plucking a solitary theatrical Othello rose from outside our living room window. Days together of wine and roses that are no more. The candle lighting and single rose followed yesterday and our private family celebration of the life of this lovely man. RQ was a connoisseur of fine wine, and he and I would travel to France on many an occasion for a far better selection than can be obtained over here. His love rubbed off on his children, and that served at lunch at the home of our daughter and son in law after the cremation was just what RQ would have loved. He would have loved, too, the gathering of our three children, their partners, and nine grandchildren: the happy chatter; the bread, cheeses and salad; the fresh fruit - and sparkling elderflower for the young ones. It was a tough day, but with the gentle and incomparable help of funeral director Edd Frost, the necessary event prior to our family lunch was just as we wished and had planned. Just as RQ would have liked - absolutely no fuss, no speeches, but a quiet committal (which we asked should happen after we had left), the music we had chosen that RQ loved, and me speaking God be in my head .... - though I do have to admit to tears and my voice breaking as I read the last line (God be at mine end, and at my departing). Those of you who knew Raymond and our joint musical background may like to know what music the children and I chose: Pavanne pour use infante defunte by Maurice Ravel; the Adagio movement from Mozarts Serenade in B flat K361 (Gran Partita) for wind instruments, and Sonatina no.1 in F major for 16 wind instruments by Richard Strauss. All that is left now will be the private scattering of RQs ashes in the new Peace Garden at Sibford School - only 3 miles from home and a place with which he has been associated since the beginning of the second world war. And then another and more extended Celebration towards the end of January for friends and family (as we are limited for numbers, this is by personal invitation only). And thank you to all those who have already left such meaningful comments. We appreciate your love, support and good wishes.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 18:17:14 +0000
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