Today Im fumbling, searching clumsily for a reset button. Do over. Clean slate. The day has careened wildly off the course lit with kindness and patience. But I cant swallow words that have already tumbled out in frustration and anger. I cant reel back in the moments that now make tears sting the backs of my eyes, for my abrasive reactiveness, my lack of composure. And I hope they can forgive me, all these stumbles I make along this path called mothering. I hope, too, that I can forgive myself. Because I love them fiercely, ferociously, viscerally. And I hope they know it, like really know it, deep in the root of their being, and can feel my love throb through their own veins. And with a deep exhale I vow, for the millionth time to do better, try harder. They deserve it. The best of me.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 18:28:59 +0000
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