Today i was feeling overwhelmed and heavy in my heart. But By the word of our testimonies we overcome. So all I heard in my heart was Share your testimony. I am sharing my testimony with you, whoever is reading this, to be encouraged and to remember not to give up on God because He would never give up on you. I am sharing a bit of my dark past yikes lol but pls i ask you not to judge me,nSome ppl know me based on my past alone, some ppl have watched me and have seen the new person i have become. Some ppl have this crazy notion that pastors children are automatically saved because their parents are pastors. I am saved today based on my personal decision not because my parents made me. (Just had to clarify) . My testimony is long but i will give you a small portion. My parents always told me how I enjoyed music as a child. As soon as I was old enough , my mom registered me for piano classes at a music school.Worst experience of my life lol. For some reason I could never master the art of reading notes etc. so because I couldnt do so, all my teachers were frustrated with me. I went through about 12 teachers, to a point where one of my teachers straight up told me You are unteachable, piano is not for you. Discouraged, I begged my parents to stop sending me to piano school. However because I still enjoyed music and still attempted on the piano i would play nonsense for fun lol. Around 2005 , i wouldSometimes play at my church, but i was so terrible. the praise and worship leaders would be singing on one key AND i would be playing a totally different note and key lol. I specifically remember a time when a woman told me that I should stop trying to play because I sound terrible. I was super discouraged I was crying so much and filled with so much anger. Once again I dropped the idea of piano. In 2007 (I believe) my dad had one of his spur of the moments lol and made everyone in the family learn piano. Again reading notes wasnt my forte but i believe that God used that music teacher for something. All i remember taking from the class were 3 basic chords on the piano ( C, F, G,). these 3 basic chords I learned would be the foundation of my journey with God teaching me the keyboard. again this particular persons piano lessons were no good because of my lack of being able to read notes and the ridiculous lack of seriousness from my him. But my teacher did notice that I was, in his words, an excellent player by ear. Because I was clouded up with frustration of how i couldnt read music, I didnt appreciate his comment. I gave up on the piano once again. today i realized why the devil kept discouraging me , shortly i will get to that lol. I gave my life to Christ when i was in the 5th grade. There was a guest pastor that preached and his message basically convinced me that I would rather a walk with God than hell. i answered to the altar call but unfortunately i didnt realize taking Jesus as my lord and savior also required seriousness with him. 5 th and basically up until 8th grade I was into what my friends were doing, you know boys, cursing etc. I felt like I was living a double life . one for the church and one for myself. In 2007 (i think) well i know i was in the 7th grade, after giving up on the piano once again , God said no. I was at a prayer meeting and someone was playing the piano. I was sitting at the back of the venue. for some reason that day I was actually paying attention. all of a sudden, I hear a sharp pop in my ears. As soon as that pop occurred, It was like i was able to identify they key, every chord n note that person was playing. As soon as i GOT home, i ran to the piano to try what my new set of ears heard lol. my dad was so shocked that i actually turned on my keyboard for the first time in a long time lol. He asked me what i was doing and i told him to hush so that I do not forget what i wanted to try on the piano lol. I was so amazed at how i played the song ( the song was jehovah you are the most high). My dad picked up on the song i was playing. he was shocked and impressed. this motivated me to play the piano again to the point where i was even playing in church again. However when i was playing i didnt realize that what i was doing was a ministry nd the seriousness of it . I shared my testimony in 2007 in church of how God gave me my new set of ears.the devil was upset that I realized ( a bit) of my ministry and calling. as soon as i shared that testimony in church, It followed a series of attacks, demonic oppression, and inviting a world full of sin . All ways in which satan wanted to use to distract me. the bible says in Matthew 6:26 No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. in this case my money was the way of the world. i enjoyed the cursing,lying, stealing etc. but the same hands that were playing the piano for God was lifting her middle finger, the same mouth that was worshipping and singing in ministration to bless peoples hearts was using filthy language. etc. the devil really gripped me for a minute. i started to realize that this ministry thing was getting serious. and i was young so i wanted to be like my peers. so i began to run away from it and God. one can never outrun God and i learned that the hard way ! after graduating middle school and going thru a series of demonic attacks i was upset with my parents, church members, myself and God. I was frustrated at why i had to grow up so fast. while my age mates were playing around i was stuck on a piano playing for church services or constantly going to church. In my sophomore year of High school I committed my biggest sin. it was so big to a point my parents didnt know how to handle me. It was a sin I was doing in the dark and when it finally came to light it caused a ridge in my relationship with my parents. Fast forwarding, still frustrated with the whole church thing and ministry because of all the demonic attacks I went thru serious deliverance and i became free. Unfortunately I didnt appreciate my freedom and i went back to my sinful ways. Fast forwarding to Summer 2012, I realized I need to change! I was wrapped in guilt, shame, and defeat. I was tired of deliverance and realized i needed my complete freedom from my tie with satan. i got my self together. I little by little began to understand my calling. revelations came from all sorts of people about my calling and ministry. I slipped many times but Unlike the other times i slipped, I got right back up. In 2012, the devil was annoyed that I was beginning to further understand my ministry and calling and he afflicted me with back pain. I went to bed tht night (not a dream) and i soon felt a power pressing my back down. I couldnt breathe. I was suffocating as i was trying to call upon the name of Jesus. I finally grasped enough energy and yelled Jesus. The power left. I quickly prayed and fortunately my dad was upband i asked him to pray for me. This was saturday night so sunday morning was church. My father,the pastor, made an altar call for those who are already saved but have fallen nd wanted to get right. I walked up. Before he got to pray for me, the demon of death spoke through me and revealed its plans for me. It intended to kill me the night before because i was trouble for them. The voice was not mine but very hoarse nd deep. It kept laughing and was ready to take me. I was literally fighting for my life. The deliverance team commanded the foul spirit to leave and so it did. After this experience i realized what the whole ministry thing was gonna be like. Just like God knows the greatness we posses, so does the devil. The devil was aware that my voice and piano playing ministry was going to cause him distress so he was trying so hard to put me out. And this time i was ready for the battle. This was in April 2012 , so from then on till September 2012 i had serious back pain. Everyone knows that the piano chair has no back support and one needs proper posture. This back pain started to disrupt my playing properly as it became unbearable. The day i realized it was not a physical battle but rather a spiritual one was the day i had my back examined. The doctor said young lady, theres nothing wrong with your back, you are probably thinking too hard. The xrays show tht nothing is wrong with your back.. What eventually healed from this pain was my consistency and not giving up. I was not gonna let the devil win. I was literally using pillows while playing. Before i knew it , the pain was gone. Again like i said i had slips but i got back up. My seriousness in the things of God grew and improved. I was reading my bible more often, paying attention in church, praying more, i received the gift of speaking in tongues, i got involved etc. My piano playing got so much better. I played like a pro. I could just hear a song and immediately play it on the piano. That was Gods intervention. Every time i play the piano or sing i know its not me but God . I am still shocked at how keen my ears are. I am not the greatest but trust me honey boo chocolate baby , i aim to be lol . The three chords i learned helped me learn other chords and notes and various ways to play on my own. God was teaching me. my favorite verse is i will delight myself in the lord and he will grant me the desires of my heart psalms 37:4. Throughout my senior year of hs i kept this scripture as an encouragement. I was getting super busy in church and had to keep up with my mandatory volunteer service, school work esp advanced placement and college credit courses at the same time,. For example, i would stay up till 2 am Thursday nights studying for my advanced government class because i would be at school till 5, go to church at 6:30 and leave church at 10 pm.i needed to finish my hw and still manage to squeeze in my time for God. It was difficult but that verse encouraged me. But with that was going on , and with Gods divine grace, I graduated with so many honors, awards and the title and medal of A WOMAN ORIENTATED FOR THE FUTURE. As college applications were approaching, certain things started to cross my mind. Bc i knew myself, i didnt want to go to far away from my current church and lose the current zeal in the things of God i was maintaining and also i was the only person playing piano in my church. And to me personally those were two important factors for me. Schools all over the country were impressed with my SAT scores, letters of recommendations and academic report sand even waived my application for me to apply. Nevertheless I came to the decision that i wanted to stay in NYC. So this is why i chose my current school Brooklyn college. It is rated as one of the best schools.I enjoy it here and i mostly enjoy my ability to be in the house of God and maintaining my ministry still. When there are many road blocks and falls , and you make it thru, it becomes worth it bc it gets so much better. Why do i enjoy this ministry so much? It has granted me so much respect and honor from people. My ministration whether in song or keyboard has healed sick ppl, touched and blessed ppls hearts, and inspired others through my dedication. I enjoy the warm hugs and tears i share with ppl tht approach me after service and say eby, you blessed me today. Orthat song you raised blessed my heart. Every time i encounter someone, they always tell me how proud they are of me and how much respect they have for me , young or old. Im doing exactly what my fave verse says. I am delighting my self in my God. As i am delighting in him, i really honestly lack nothing. Financially, physically, emotionally, mentally i am blessed. I am beautiful , i am intelligent, i am holy ghost filled. In my first year of college with all my going back and forth to bk, my late classes, my weekly a activities in church and my duties at home, God has made me superwoman and has given me so much grace. I made deans lists twice in my first year. Now that i dorm here it is still not as easy bc i travel back on Thursday to the bx for ministry and bck to bk on sunday (it is not easy trust me) , and i am still doing well in my classes. I have made my parents soo proud. They invested so much in me and every day i make them prouder and prouder. They saw the tremendous nd dramatic changes i went thru. All my spiritual parents, brothers and sister are also proud of me and encourage me. Unless you see me most of the time, you really wont know n appreciate me . A lot of ppl my age are not willing to dedicate and sacrifice this much like i am doing. Never say you dont have time for God. You do ! God will never give up on you. I was so dirty and filthy ! I could have never imagined God using a dirty person like me to minister to his people. He cleaned me up and I am honored. Its been a fantastic 2 years of my serious relationship with God. What made me change and repent you may ask? Think about your spouse constantly cheating on you all the time and every time they cheated they would say baby i am sorry . Every time they apologized you forgave them expecting them not to do it again. But tomorrow they do the same thing again. It becomes frustrating and annoying. Many of us will say hell no i will not take you back for you to keep cheating on me . Its the same with God. We are all in a relationship with him. Theres a difference between apology and repentance. Apology is just constantly saying Im sorry, whereas repentance is saying Im sorry but making a change. Christians dont have to yell out hey look at me, i am a christian , your actions can also do the talking.
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 21:10:52 +0000
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