Today just seems to be a day to get though. Since he got such intense chemo, he is now starting to get those horrible mouth sores, all the way down the throat. Pain meds are being increased and watching his eating and drinking. He has already lost those 10 pounds so now we want to maintain, not lose more! I guess we all have those days but what a hard lesson for a 14 year old to learn; days you just cant change but have to get through. The frustration at not being able to make this easier for him is reaching an all time high. I can only use words, something to equip him with an inner core to spin this a better way in his mind as I can see him getting ready to cave. I know anything I say to a teenager sounds like a lecture. Honesty, has been the policy this whole journey. Look bud, I cant make it stop and it is only going to hurt. The only thing you have control over is how you handle this. The mental battle is half the game! Your body can do this but can your mind? What can you do to have your mind come out the other end in a stronger way? So we talked about it but like I said that is a hard lesson, let alone for a child. I see it as a positive that he just looked at me, didnt tell me to shut up or the ole I know MOM! Just a gaze with a deep breath. I am realizing the doctors, the nurses, etc, they all handle the physical battle. It is up to friends, family, and parents to help with the mental battle. To get him through, from one side to the other, it is that simple. On our childs worst day, it is NOT our job to fix it. It is NOT our job to make it easier. It IS our job to equip them with the skills to safely get though from one side to the other, to fix it how they can. That, is what will keep them healthy their whole lives. That is, in my opinion, perhaps one of the most important jobs we have, not making their life easier but making it more understandable, how to manage the inevitable bad parts. And today, he did well, he ended up eating, got some school work in and is now taking a nap. Score one for his mind!
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 15:18:16 +0000
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