Today marks the one year anniversary of my divorce... There are so many times, where I feel like my heart has healed, and Im ready to love again... and then moments like this where I find it still raw and aching. Truth is, I still miss my family. I miss being married. Its still hard for me to be alone. I still wonder what might have been, or if there is anything else I couldve done. I am an incurable optimist. I live an extremely happy life, and I always am looking for the best in everything... but the problem with being an optimist like me is that its too easy to bury the pain. To brush past it and pretend it doesnt exist. To make my life so busy with doing and giving and serving that I dont have time to hurt. To turn my focus to what I want to see, rather than embracing the hard things deep inside that I need to see. Buried pain, however always has a way of sneaking back up until we take the time to heal through it. We cant heal what we refuse to feel... So, today, I am choosing to feel. To feel nostalgic as I look through photo albums of pictures of our family and remember the amazing years we had together. To feel sorrow as I think of the pain that led to the end of my marriage. To feel heartache when I sense the hole in my heart that is still in the process of healing. To feel uncertainty as I think of the future and where it leads for me. To feel lonely as I sit in my quiet condo, all alone, and miss the sounds of little voices and little feet around me. Its ok to hurt... Because at the same time that I ache for what I lost... I am so immensely grateful for what I have found over the last year. There are so many amazing things I know that God brought into my life through this incredibly hard challenge. I am so grateful for all the perfect moments that seem to flood me every day reminding me of the magic of life, for the chance to live in a beautiful place, to travel the world, and to be able to witness miracles every where I go. I am so intensely thankful for the beautiful people that have entered my life, the remarkable goddesses I have been blessed to date, the clients I have been able to serve, the new friends that Ive been honored to welcome into my facebook family... for all the inspiring people who have joined me for this part of my journey through life. I am so blessed to be able to do the work that I do, and to have an opportunity to live my purpose every day. Days like this are hard, but they are also to me part of the richness of being alive. I trust God that everything happens for a purpose, and that even through the challenges He is always trying to upgrade my life. Even when I hurt, I wouldnt change my life for anything. This is my life, and I choose to embrace every moment of it. thank you for being part of my life. my life is better because I have friends like you. smile today, and let the people in your life know that you love them. dont take a single day for granted. Life is short. Live BIG. your brother, in love and light.... - g
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 19:47:02 +0000
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