Today, the Bear (age 4) asked me if she was fat. I answered honestly and told her she was perfect. Frankly, Im terrified. A part of me hopes that this is just my little one exploring words and concepts (it wasnt too long ago that she was pretty convinced that she was going to be a cat when she grew up). But, even I know that that there is some serious gender stuff happening here. Im not really smart enough to unpack how this all works, but my gut reaction is to place the blame for this on a society that glorifies some nonsensical idea of beauty for women over everything else. Im angry that this happens at the age of 4. But, to be very honest, deep down, Im terrified that Im to blame. Deeper down and more honestly, I know that Im to blame. Ive grown a lot in the past 5 years and I try, I really do. We had a long conversation today about why there are no boy or girl colors. But I sat quietly while some random boy was talking about how Frozen was a girl movie at the neighborhood party. I work really hard to make sure that the Bear knows that she is strong and smart and brave (she wants to be a firefighter); but, at the end of the day, my default is to tell her that she is pretty. Im proud that the Bear knows how to use a hammer and a screwdriver, but would I be equally proud if my son wanted to do ballet? The Bear lives for ballet. The very fact that Im only worried about gender norms with her while I completely ignored them with him means that Im the problem. They both deserve better. No one messes with my kids, not even me. Tonight Ill give them extra kisses good night and tomorrow Ill work harder.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 06:43:21 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015