Today was meant to be my wedding day. I could picture it in my mind, I couldnt wait for that moment when I would first see him standing at the altar, waiting for me. We talked about that moment a lot, we both knew it would have been heart stopping stuff. But it was never meant to be in the end. I would love to write a post about how its a lesson learned or how I will grow stronger from this. But I am going to be honest and real and admit to the whole world how heartbreaking it is to lose someone I loved so much and to let go of the future we had planned together. Things unravelled so fast and I realised he wasnt who I thought he was at all, there are many reasons why this is the way it had to be, and although I understand those reasons, Im finding it hard to accept them and surrender to this. The love I felt for the man who would have been waiting for me at the other end of that aisle hasnt gone away, even though everything else between us has. Thats hard to process. My heart is broken today. I need to have just enough love left for myself now to peel myself off the floor and keep going and know that it doesnt define me, its just part of my story. So today is gonna be a steaming pile of dog shit kind of day for me. But tomorrow will be a little easier. And I do have so many blessings in my life which I am grateful for. This is me taking a deep breath and making peace with what today represents in my life, and knowing for sure that theres a reason why.
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 22:27:27 +0000
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