Tomorrow December 6th marks five years since I lost someone so very special and dear to me, he was my life, he is my son. Everyday is hard to get through and especially the anniversary of his death if I could only bring him back to me I would, I miss his hugs, the kisses he would place on my cheek, the words I love you mom, that beautiful smile on his face, the talks we would have, just everything about him, Im lost without him....I know some people get tired of me talking about my son my only child but he did exists and I will always talk about him...I will continue to post pics of him, people say that it will get better but it doesnt he is always on my mind and will forever be in my heart, when he left me he took a great big piece of my heart with him. Its hard to understand the reason why I have questioned God many times why why did this have to happen....I know that one day I will have my answer to the question why!!! I went through my pictures in my albums last night I spent six hours looking at them and putting loose pics of him in photo albums something that I could not do for five years, I made myself do it and I cried a lot, wishing that I could just see him, to talk to him....I ran across his baby pictures, school pictures, Christmas pictures and more, thinking no parent should have to bury their child, we can loose a mom, dad, brother, sister but that pain does not compare to loosing a child, this kind of pain is the most unbearable pain you can experience! I had someone say to me that I will get over it No I will never get over it thats like saying he never existed, someone even said to me in a conversation we was having that you have nothing to deal with I have a lot to deal with, I am trying to get through everyday of my life knowing that I dont have my son here with me that is a whole lot to deal with, unless a person that has never lost a child they dont know or understand what its like to loose a child and I pray that they never do! I pray all the time that God gives me strength to get through these days and he has and he will! If only I had answers to that day of who put that cable up and why I could have some closure, I pray that one day that it will come to light of who and why did this! I will always have these meltdowns they will never go away!! But I will push on and keep trying to get through theses days especially the really bad days I know that is what my son would want me to do, but I know that one day when God calls me home my son and I will be reunited again! Missing you so much!! Fred G. Robinson 6/14/74 ~ 12/6/09
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 02:08:37 +0000
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