Topic. My kids dad left us a couple months ago. It was brutal. Even though Im glad hes gone. We finally found a way to move, and a small apartment. Things were great at first. Felt my depression and anxiety slipping away. I met some new people.. only had a couple friends. But the last two weeks Its come back full force. Ive not one friend. I feel like I never speak unless it to my lil boys. I dont do anything but go to the beach here on nice days. Everyday I flip thru my contacts and see if theres someone to call, I dont know Why. There never is. Never felt so alone in my life. My heart is aching, my stomach turning, mind melting. Im in a constant state of mental torture. I hate myself, even tho Im a beautiful person inside and out. Ive lost 40lbs in 2 months. Id be soooo happy about it normally... but since Im always alone in the house or whatever. Its like, who cares anymore. Life is so cruel to me.. I cant even end it cuz Ive got no one to take care of my kids. Their dad works away. I just want to die, I cant live like this! Who could?! theres nothing I can do, theres no one to help me feel better. My meds dont help, therapists etc. Nothing will fix my life or illness. Im a person who needs people. I barely remember the joy and peace I felt when we first moved. Everyday theres some new huge bomb dropped on my life too. I cant take it. I dont belong here, no purpose at all. ?
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 17:59:01 +0000
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