Tracy has just written this amazing post on our wall to share with you all! I would like to offer reassurance and hope to all those sleep deprived, attachment parents out there. After 3 and a quarter years, my beautiful boy has finally embraced sleep, on a large healthy scale! And all of the “high needs” behaviour traits are a strange delirious memory. After developing a false sense of security in Samuel’s first 4 weeks of life, our little man then decided that sleep just wasn’t something he had time for. Evenings were initially spent cluster feeding, on occasions this would last 4-5 hours! Then the wakings could be as frequent as every 20 – 30 mins, till giving up at 5/6am. Day naps quickly reduced from 2 hours to 15-30 mins. I survived on average of 4 and half broken hours sleep (if I was lucky) every night till Sam was around 2 and a half. (Approx... no memory is clear from this period!) On top of the sleep issues, Samuel was very attached to me in the day also, and had very strong emotional needs, and intense behaviour traits. Despite regular and intense pressure to conform to methods and practices that promise fast results, and despite the detriment to my own physical and emotional well-being, I clung on to my principles, had faith in my own theories and chose to respond to Sam’s emotional needs. There have been so many tear’s, meltdowns, re-evaluations and moments of utter confusion on the way, but I’m now elated that I took the path I did, as the little boy I look at each day fills my heart with such pride and delight that I just needed to share this feeling. I have never, and still do, not preach my chosen way of raising a child, but my advice to all parents would be to take on board all the idea’s / solutions that will be put to you, and by all means source your own answers from the many avenues available, but always trust your own instinct, and never be pressured into following a method that you do not agree with. Let all the decisions made be your own. As clichéd as it sounds children are different and do vary in their responses to different methods, so invest the time finding what your own child responds to, and when you do find it, accept that even then, it may take time before you see the rewards, but with consistency and a whole heap of love, you will. Also seek out and surround yourself where possible with some like minded friends, either in person or via an online forum, you will need support along the way, embrace it. With Sam, it started with a whole lot of milk!...then a whole lot of body contact (me only) day and night. But gradually he weaned, gradually he would climb down from me/let go of my hand and play when out and gradually the hours we bed-shared reduced, and now Samuel sleeps on average from 7pm – 6.30am! He is happy, bright, full of humour and cuddles but getting on with life and getting more and more confident every day. There are no longer tantrums / meltdowns / shouting, instead Sam responds to talking through any challenging behaviour. Not that I’m complacent!...it could all change tomorrow! But for now it’s great, so don’t be depressed by those that say “oh it just gets worse” or “it doesn’t get any easier” for all those nurturing, committed attachment parents out there, you will get there too! Hang in there! Now all I need to do is teach myself how to sleep again!!! (Not used to the quiet, uninterrupted nights!)
Posted on: Tue, 10 Sep 2013 10:14:30 +0000