Trust, what is it worth to you? Trust is a confusing thing, it seems so simple, but when you try to pin it down it can be elusive. I think of the way my body sits on a surface that is new to me. Unknown, and how my muscles remain tight anticipating anything, and how Im constantly aware of that surface. Over time with familiarity I can relax and start to lean back. For many of us that initial tension exist so much of the time. We expend so much energy watching and calculating, trying to predict, reading signals in people ready for anything to change suddenly, preparing to be disappointed. We talk about trust as something you build, as if it is a structure or a thing, but in that building there seems to be something about letting go. What it affords us is a luxury that allows us to stop thinking, to stop worrying that someone wont catch us if we fall, to stop wondering how other people act when they are not in our presence. It allows us to relax a part of our minds so we can focus on whats in front of us. And thats why it is such a tragedy when its broken. A betrayal can make you think of all the betrayals that are waiting for you and the things you havent thought of and the people you rely on and you can feel yourself tightening up, bracing, and in the worse cases you might resolve to trust on one. But that doesnt really work. Trust is your relationship to the unknown, what you cant control cause you cant control everything. Its a slow and steady practice of learning the capacity of the world, and its worth it to keep trying and its not easy. Trust is like a fork, not one way but many ways, physical, emotional, and maybe something else. I almost imagine trust as these invisible hands that we stretch out into the world looking for someone to hold on to as we walk into the unknown future. So who do you trust?
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 07:08:05 +0000
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