Two years ago today I woke up to a phone call from my mother. My sister had a stroke and it didnt look good. If I wanted to say goodbye to my sister one last time, she advised me to get up there right away. After going online and seeing the only flight I could find from here getting me there at 10:45, I decided why wait, Ill just drive, and get there roughly an hour earlier..My mind raced all over. It was a situation that was inevitable for 38 years. Sure we can all day any day for any reason, but my sisters heart was always a higher risk situation. I was on the road in the car, with my best friend James from Medford who was nice enough to drive down with his girlfriend at the time Kori to make sure I didnt drive the whole way alone. We met outside of Sacramento in Williams. I was kind of numb about it all, and we were able to at least have some lighter moments as we drove. Unbeknownst to me, he had just found out an hour before we met up in Williams that she was already gone. My mom didnt want me to know for fear Id have an accident because Id be crying, etc...I found out when I called the hospital to see if I could be able to come by after visiting hours to stop by her room and just say a prayer by her bedside since it would be possibly my last time to say goodbye to her. The guy on the phone from the hospital bluntly told me she had already passed. I said Ok, thats not what my family told me and he said Well maybe you should talk to your family then. Talk about a gut punch. But I didnt have that bawling moment right then. i was so pissed at the guy for his horrendous PR/Bedside Manner/couth...whatever you want to call it. James then told me he knew and we continued the drive, talking about her, and listening to music, etc...When we finally made it to Medford, I had beat the flight and I came into my moms house, hugging my brother and mom. I hadnt seen them in half a year, and even though the circumstances sucked, it felt great to see them. We spent about an hour discussing what had happened and shared a few stories. Then I went up to her room. I sat on her bed, and it all came crashing down. I bawled. My darling angel of a sister was no longer going to fill our lives and those of strangers, with innocent giggling and laughter. But I was wrong. I am at least carrying on that silliness every day. The tattoo that is my Facebook image currently is my testament to her. She loved Superman, thought she would marry him. So I incorporated Superman and the Down Syndrome Awareness symbol. Now when I see it, or Superman (down here, with Magic Mountain, I see it everywhere) or now that Im working with the Special Olympics softball team in my area....I think of her. Im honoring her every day when I make you laugh. Im honoring her when I give you a hug when you need it most. Im honoring her when I say I love you because thats all she knew. Im honoring her when I share my heart. And if that makes you have a better day, and you pass it on, then you in turn are honoring her, and for that I thank you. I am not sad today. That would be no way to honor her. She is here with me spiritually. She has let me know itll be okay.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 17:00:14 +0000
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