Uneasy. Some while back, I had a revelation. A moment of clarity regarding the pivotal role that stress plays in our lives. It seems that the stimulus most crucial to growth, the necessary byproduct of lofty ideals and uncommon ambitions, that without which true progress is impossible, is also the external life factor that will kill you the quickest. What a delicate balance to strike. What a brutal, beautiful paradox. Admittedly, I’ve never been the type to seek the easy path. In many cases, I think I welcomed struggle, even sought it out, as it was an element I had always equated with success, the overcoming of obstacles and adversity every day, somehow priming me for personal victory. I thought the greater the struggle, the more staggering the achievement. The more pain I could endure, like a blade being dragged again and again across smooth stone, the sharper I would become—the hard times honing me along the way. That which would wear others down would serve to whet my sword. That is, if I could survive it all and come out the other end without being warped or broken. Sometimes, lying in bed, staring straight through the ceiling at the heavens above, my heart pounding, my mind racing, in the maddening silence of midnight, I wonder why this path chose me... Why I can’t just be content, resting on the few laurels I have, being thankful for the many blessings that characterize my life on this planet. It is with sincere and humble gratitude that I enter each day, but this insatiable hunger within is unrelenting—restless nights. I guess that’s just how it is meant to be, praying daily to live up to standards and expectations set long ago. Over time, I’ve learned to welcome this inner tumult, as merely another aspect of who I am—a simple man who has renounced the easy way, finding comfort with an existence that can be, at times, uneasy.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:42:40 +0000
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