Up ahead I can see the light, for this tunnel has been so dark. I can almost feel its warmth beaming down pulling me closer through this cold damp place. The walls still echo of heartache and pain but in their cries I can feel a change...Beyond this last hurdle is a new life waiting; At the tip of my tongue I can taste the happiness again. I have been frozen to the core, but finally in my darkest hour, my lowest depth, right before I let this misery consume every ounce left of me.. there was hope. Hope; such a simple four letter word combined with love, passion, determination, and most importantly above all else God has renewed my spirits. The humanity in me clouded my judgement that I almost forgot at the center of my heart there is something more than human. More than flesh and bones, more than me.. There is God. He lives in me && though I can not overcome this pain, though I am weak, though my judgement alters, though my vision fails He is there. In a small still voice I have been to crowded by myself to hear He is there. I felt abandoned, I felt He was playing favorites && I had not served him as much as my enemies. I questioned everything, but I did not pray for myself. I did not pray in anger. I did not pray solely for my child. In my mind I wanted to be selfish but I knew falling to my knees broken that my heart was not agreeable. Despite what people say, including a man of God, I know God is at the center of my heart. && though I have not followed every word, He still has laid His hands in my life && only I && Go know my heart && our relationship. In the last few weeks God has worked in my heart && life in some pretty painful ways, the Devil fearing the work of God, has attacked every step I took making this journey unbearable. For those of you who pray for me && the situations that surround me I ask one simple request. Pray for Gods will to be done && for me to have the strength to face it whatever his will may be && the wisdom to make the choices that face me.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Oct 2013 12:06:10 +0000
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