Update Thursday 10:30pm The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Matthew 23:11-12 I have always strived to follow the servant-leadership mantra. The idea was introduced to me in college during a business management course. Basically, the leader of the group accepts the role of serving the other members in the group. By doing this the leader can teach, support, and praise while interacting with the group members. Later in my career it become a very common management style within the YMCA. I thought I was doing okay as a servant-leader. I thought I followed the principles well. After what I have witnessed the past two weeks, I have realized I am not even close. The doctors, nurses, and staff we have had the privilege of meeting through this journey have been exceptional. They do their jobs at a level I have trouble comprehending. Their jobs are stressful beyond belief, especially in the ICU areas where Shelly spent most of her time. The care they showed my family, while under such great stress is amazing. They were always willing to re-explain issues, procedures, symptoms, and risks with me to ensure that I understood the seriousness of my decisions. They wanted to do what was best for Shelly at all times, but never sugar coated the risks. Some of the doctors and nurses were blunt with me. I appreciated this so much. During those early Saturday morning hours when we were not sure if Shelly was going to make it, I had many conversations about the risks and about Shellys chance of survival. It hurt to hear, but I needed to know the REAL story. My brain needed to process how serious this was in order for me to prepare for the challenges at hand. When we came to a cross road, I was given options and possible outcomes. Without the possibility of discussing these with my nursing student wife, I had to decide. I felt informed. I felt supported. The decisions were hard as hell, but I felt as if they gave me all the information I needed to clearly decide. The technical skills these people used to save Shelly, and then help her recover are nothing short of heroic. But what was funny, you didnt even notice them working sometimes. While helping Shelly they were also supporting me. Talking me through my tears and fears. Supporting me when things were getting worse, then celebrating with me as she was improving. They are all heart. Then there was Rylans nurses. They were all the sweetest, most supportive women every. Both hospitals are full of nurses that truly care about my baby girl and me. Our situation was far from normal. These nurses are not used to dealing with clueless dads as much as they did these last few weeks. They were patient and beyond kind to me and my family. They went way over and above to make sure we were okay. I shared many conversations with all the nurses that were helping us, both in the father & baby unit and ICU. They are all dedicated to their families and their loved ones, yet they are working non-stop to keep mine intact. I will do anything for Shelly, and trust me, that statement has been tested over the past days. But the nurses, they do the same thing for total strangers. That blows me away. There are many things I thank God for daily right now. One of the biggest has been the medical teams that have worked with us. They, without a doubt, have embraced the idea of servant-leadership. They have humbled themselves to a position where they can embrace my family at our darkest hour and walk us back into the light. I see some of their faces when I close my eyes, their smiles, their tears, and their laughs. My life has been completely changed by a group of people that were total strangers to me 14 days ago. They gave me my life back, and I owe them mine in return. To those doctors and nurses that have helped us, you know who you are, THANK YOU. I will never be able to adequately repay you for your time, dedication, passion, and most importantly, LOVE. Shelly has dreamed of being a nurse for as long as I have known her. She has a very compassionate heart. She is patient, and extremely loving. There is in doubt in my mind that God will use her and this experience to serve other families down the road. For now, we must get her back up and moving. We have moved into the rehab center at Northeast. It is beautiful. We are blessed to be given the opportunity to stay here while we work on getting Shelly back up to speed. We are allowed visitors, but they ask for them to wait until after 4pm, so we can focus on rehab during the day. It feels great to be back in Concord. The only draw back, no Baby Rylan. She is having her first sleep over tonight. As much as this kills me, I will use this time to focus on my main patient, my wife. We are blessed to have family local to help care for her. Hopefully, all the grand parents will get lots of baby time over the next couple of weeks. She is the sweetest thing, and I am already missing her way more than I thought. I can you get so attached to someone in just 13 days. Instead, I will try to do something I have not done in a while, sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Lots of hard work for Shelly and lots more learning for me. Very please to be another new chapter in this saga. If I were writing a book I would call this one.... Redefining Strength. Cant wait for Shelly to show these guys what shes got.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 03:07:48 +0000
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