VIDEO CAN BE A HORRIBLE REMINDER THAT IM MIDDLE AGED. My girls were watching a video that was taken at a family get together last summer and laughing hysterically. Whats so funny? I asked as I walked into the living room. Both girls stopped laughing and acted like they hadnt heard my question. Whats so funny? There was still no response so I turned my attention to the video. The camera had obviously been set on a table or chair and left to record the goings-on, the center of which was a volleyball game that had been played for most of the day. As I stood and watched for a few minutes, it became obvious that the girls had been laughing at one of the players in the volleyball game. His lack of coordination and over-dramatic reactions to his pathetic attempts at diving for the ball made him a comical center of attention. Other players on the volleyball court could be seen chuckling behind his back on the video. Whos the bald idiot? I asked, still laughing at the poor players lack of skill. Both girls looked at each other for a silent moment. Ummm, thats you, dad, my daughter Hannah finally answered. Ha ha, very funny, I replied. But neither girl was laughing. I narrowed my gaze at the video playing on the television. I recognized the T-shirt that the bald idiot was wearing as my own. Hey, why is that guy wearing one of my . . . . . . My face suddenly got hot with embarrassment as I realized that the clown on the court . . . . . was me. I stood in shock. I knew that my hairline had receded a bit, and the back of my head was getting a little thin, but I had no idea that it had become THAT thin! And my posture was slouched, accented by a pot belly that was much larger than the one I see when I look down. My playing skills were terrible. Terrible to the point of being amazingly terrible. I had never been a volleyball wizard, but I could at the very least, hold my own in a game when I was younger. But time after time, I watched myself on the video hit the ball out of bounds, into the net, or completely miss it all together. Worse yet, with each failed bump, set or spike I would fall to the ground in an overly dramatic fashion, and then lay there flailing like a turtle stuck on its back until someone finally came over and gave me a hand getting up. Followed by two or three minutes of walking off my injuries while I made loud walking off injury noises. The video was much too painful to watch. I could still hear myself encouraging other players to, COME ON, GET IN THE GAME! And my exaggerated grunts coming from the TV as I walked out of the living room. The girls resumed their laughing at me when they thought I was out of earshot. The video had been a rude awakening to my current state of degeneration and lack of coordination. Ever since watching it, I began to see myself in an unflattering new light. More recently, a video of myself dancing at a wedding reception enlightened me to my dreadful loss of rhythm and fashion sense. Mothers in the video are seen rushing to shield their children from my thrashing, dancing appendages, and a young couple sitting a table near the dance floor can be seen pointing and laughing at my twenty year old dress shoes. I now avoid being video taped at all costs. And in the event I do end up getting caught on camera, I steadfastly refuse to watch the footage. The volleyball and wedding reception incidents had damaged myself esteem so mortally that I dont think I would survive another video episode. #middleage #family #watchingmyselfonvideo
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 12:08:27 +0000
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