“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” In a moment of personal struggle and faith in the new Rich Mullins’ biopic “Ragamuffin,” Mullins blurts out a question to Almighty Abba that I know full well: “What do You want from me?” I have asked that question many times these past few years. And I find myself asking it now again and again. “Father, I have given all (or so I foolishly dare imagine!) Father, I have raised the knife! Father, I have stepped out of the boat in faith! Father, I have been tossed overboard into the raging tempest! What do You want from me? I have complied to Your wishes; why won’t you yield a little ground in return?” And yet, Abba Father is a lot like the Tommy Lee Jones character in “The Fugitive.” While consoling a team member who is momentarily miffed at U.S. Deputy Samuel Gerard for killing an assailant who held him hostage, Jones’ Gerard leans into his co-worker’s good ear and reminds him of his code: “I…DON’T…BARGAIN.” So it is with God. Neither does He. What bargaining chips could we imagine we hold over the Sovereign Wholly Other Who has His own way? Several years ago I was sitting in a worship service at Bloys Camp Meeting in far West Texas. A young speaker was preaching from Isaiah 53 – a prophetic account of the Suffering Servant that would eventually be fulfilled in Jesus Christ. The speaker spoke inflammatory words and insinuated that Abba Father was pleased to crush His Son and cause Him to suffer. One of my deacons was seated next to me. He leaned over and challenged the speaker’s words. “Do you believe THAT?” he asked in shock. “Yes, I do,” I responded and I pointed to The Word – “Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush Him and cause Him to suffer.” (Isaiah 53:10) If such was the lot for Abba’s only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who are we to claim a different one for ourselves? Could it not possibly please Him to crush us as well? Even though I am grateful for friends who try to encourage me with promises from God’s Word, I must remind myself they are HIS promises, due to be fulfilled in HIS time. He is not bound to ever keep a single promise in my time, no matter how much I may spout it and declare it in faith. He will answer all His promises when He is good and ready. I may ask Him a thousand times, “What do You want from me?” Yet I must be willing to wait in faith, surrendered and bowed to His silent explanation – “I…DON’T…BARGAIN. Nor do I answer to you.”
Posted on: Mon, 23 Jun 2014 03:27:44 +0000
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