WOMANS PERFECT BREAKFAST Shes sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMENS REVENGE Cash, check or charge? I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet,I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. So, do you always carry your TV remote? I asked. No, she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. Understanding WOMEN (A MANS PERSPECTIVE) I know Im not going to understand women. Ill never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, And still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, It is essential that husbands and wives know each others likes and dislikes. He addressed the man, Can you name your wifes favorite flower? Tom leaned over, touched his wifes arm gently and whispered, Its Pillsbury, isnt it? WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and Neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, The husband asked sarcastically, Relatives of yours? Yep, the wife replied, in-laws. WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a mans 15,000. The wife replied, The reason has to be because we have to Repeat everything to men.... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, What? CREATION A man said to his wife one day, I dont know how you can be So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded, Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you ! The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, Please wake me at 5:00AM. He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadnt wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, It is 5:00AM. Wake up. The End God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 01:03:11 +0000
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