Warnings Facebook probably should have come with when you first decided to sign up... 1. Your privacy settings- are the exact opposite. People will find you...and poke you. 2. Poking is a bizzare way of someone showing you affection; do not be alarmed- at least theyre not doing it in real life. 3. You will receive at least one message or friend request from someone who lives in a foreign land and wants to be your friend...or potential husband/wife. 4. Your current beau will stalk your ex- a) to see how much hotter they are in comparison b) because they can c) see point 1. 5. You will probably never need to pick up a newspaper again. All important news, sport and weather updates will be reported via your news feed throughout the day. 6. You WILL accidentally add or like a picture of somebody you have just stalked on Facebook (at least once) because your finger slipped aka you werent clever enough with your creepin this time round. 7. There is a point at which constant music videos, facts, and statuses on your wall within the space of a day become garbage that no-one actually cares about. Scientists have yet to discover what that cut off point is. 8. Facebook will make socially unacceptable things the norm- like announcing what youre doing every 20 mins via your status. A running commentary of your life is exactly what people have wanted all along- Not. 9. One of your idiot friends will comment on that picture/ post from 5 years ago that you had gladly forgotten about and erased from your memory. 10. Friends on Facebook has no meaning. Adding people on Facebook will become a thing- even if you only met them that one time when you were drunk and they stepped on your shoe. 11. Facebook can leave you with the following symptoms; feelings of ugliness - other peoples profile pictures, feelings of inadequacy - other peoples social lives, feelings of negligence - other peoples much larger friends list. 12. Do not be alarmed by The Facebook Clearout - its a strange ritual that happens at least once a year...or whenever someone gets around to it. You will know when its upon you- because the ring leader will always announce it on their status so people know exactly whats going down. Dont worry though, its almost always never you that gets cut from the team. (N.B I said almost- if youre a moron, youve got to go.) 13. Whether it was someone who liked your picture or that cheeky post on your wall from someone who liked you years ago, Facebook has the power to nearly ruin your life at various points during your relationship. Be warned. 14. One day you will discover the other section of your inbox- filled with hundreds of pointless messages including ones from the aforementioned point 2. 15. Facebook is NOT a replacement for real life- blocking and deleting someone from your page will not erase them from your real life (unfortunately). *Disclaimer* Without intention, it will be the one thing you check more frequently than the time. Facebook will become the mild addiction you never thought youd have.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 06:23:48 +0000
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