Was talking to someone today, and he asked me why i just dont move away from here and start my life over somewhere else. Well....so many bad things have been done to me over the past x amount of years, not only am I NOT mentally or emotionally strong enough to do that, if i was alone somewhere else, there is no way on Gods green earth I would ever be able to socialize or ever date again to find a husband OR make any friends. I am scared to death of that, met so many very bad people over the course of my life I seldom give anyone a chance to get anywhere near me now. If I lose my home, i can only move into a tent on this same street and live in one of my neighbors yards, thats how afraid i am of strangers or people I dont know well. ME move someplace far away and all alone? NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Excuse me, but I will just stay right here where I am. I am not terrified of the neighbors I have now, so it is just going to have to stay this way. If Ed died tonight, could I ever date, or let another man into my life, or my world....oh hell no. I am way too scared and distrusting of people to ever let anyone else ever get that close to me again. Its not gonna happen. If Ed leaves, its only going to be me and my dogs till the day I die. I wont ever move in with relatives, and i am not leaving where I am now. plain and simple, and nobody I have dated in the past is coming BACK into my life, and i dont give a shit what my situation becomes. it is NOT happening. I refuse to move. I am too scared to ever do that again, nor do i have the strength now to do that. There were plenty of years to do all of that, I am sure as hell not gonna do it now that I am over 50. Screw all of that
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 00:45:42 +0000