Ways to stop being overly-jealous in a Relationship. PART-2 6. Breathe new life into the relationship Before you can do any in-depth work on yourself or as a couple, you need to do damage control on your strained relationship. Start by striking a healthy balance between giving your partner space and increasing the quality of your time together. Pursue your own interests in a meaningful, enriching way: after all, part of what attracts people to one another is mystery, and if you spend all your time checking in on your partner with calls, texts, emails, and Facebook posts, there can hardly be any intrigue left in what you do. Split your time more evenly between your partner and your friends and allow your partner to do the same. Rediscover your interest in a former passion or, if necessary, find a new hobby that will make your non-romantic time more meaningful. Then, when you have both remembered what it’s like to miss one another, improve your time together by going on a vacation or staycation, trying something new like taking a partner dance class, or lightening the mood by being playful and maintaining the romance. 7. Build your communication This is something the two of you both need to work on together; many relationship woes could be cured, if not avoided altogether, if couples simply learned how to truly and effectively communicate with one another. A big part of communicating effectively is knowing how to broach an unpleasant topic without putting your partner on the defensive (or, worse yet, the offensive). Start by curbing your accusations: learn to state what you feel (ex. “I feel afraid when you stay out late and don’t tell me where you are or how long you’ll be there”) instead of what you fear (“I’m worried you’re cheating on me”), which can be come off like a slap in the face. Be honest about your thoughts and concerns while you’re having them instead of stockpiling them for later and letting them explode one day out of the blue. 8. Learn to trust Trust issues can make you go crazy. Ask yourself who it is you really mistrust: your partner, your partner’s friends… or yourself? Coming to the realization that you still don’t trust yourself in love or that you’re simply threatened by other girls is a good thing, both stem from the same issue, can be worked on, and are totally within your control. Learn how to trust your partner again for his and your sake both. He didn’t text you back? Big deal. Obsessing over things like this will only come across as annoying; if you are laid back and don’t expect instantaneous replies to everything, etc, he will not get irritated. Don’t call him to see if he’s still there – take a deep breath and let it go. He will reply when he can. Don’t ask him to stop going certain places. Part of jealousy is the desire to control others, and by giving him freedom, you show that you trust him and make him more likely to respect you. Don’t write a blank check of trust. If you are genuinely concerned about something, do not be afraid to (gently) broach the topic. Mention that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he talks to certain girls, or tell him honestly about a behavior he has that bothers you. Don’t overreact or make accusations. Simply state how you feel and, if he respects that, he will try to work it out. If your partner simply isn’t trustworthy, it’s his turn to roll up his sleeves and match some of the hard work you’ve been putting into the relationship. If he can’t or won’t do it, dump him and start looking for someone who will. 9. Be an awesome girlfriend Okay, so you’ve managed to salvage the relationship and heal the damage that has been done. Focus on being positive and making the relationship work. The right type of relationship needs communication, trust and prayer
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 07:56:43 +0000
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