We all have struggles, but if we stopped at the first struggle would we be where we are today? Growing up wasnt easy, I had to grow up fast and suppress a lot of things in order to survive the circumstances put in my life. It was fighting that got me through. You might think fighting in the sense of making it through my trails and tribulations, beating the odds, never giving up, the list can go on. Your correct I had to have those strengths in order to be where I am today, but Im actually talking about fighting. Fighting 1. the action of fighting; violence or conflict. synonyms: violence, hostilities, conflict, action, combat; More antonyms: peace adjective adjective: fighting 2. displaying or engaging in violence, combat, or aggression. Whats the first thing that pops out when you read that ... I see violence. But It might be something totally different for you. When I was introduced to fighting, it was a survival mechanism in order to get through my daily life. You couldnt backed down from anything or you would seem weak in the neighborhoods I grew up in and thats the last thing you wanted to happen growing up. So I had to FIGHT. My order brother was the one who taught me. I think it trickled down from my mother using a saying MAN OR MOUSE if you attempted to say MOUSE which my brother often did my mother would cave in your chest and ask you again. As I watched my brother repeatedly say MOUSE in different occasions I told myself I would never say MOUSE, but eventually I did to see if I was strong enough to take the hit, you can use your imagination to imagine what happen next. It was my brother saying never lose a fight or Im going to beat you up. I wondered in my head why would he do that if I LOST but it never happen because ever fight I got into I was determined to win. !! Why was I determined to win with such a negative behavior? Why did this continue to happen throughout my childhood ? Why was it alright ? But it always circled back to the word FIGHT. Remember I said that Violence popped out when reading what it meant. As a child we are conditioned to a lot of things that we think wont affect us in the long run. What we see, how our peers act, the circumstances we are born in, not knowing right from wrong, its a never ending story. Violence- I was always exposed to violence all my life growing up, it didnt just start from my mother, nor my brother teaching me how to fight, but it was my circumstance that I never knew could affect me. I wasnt taught that it was wrong. I was taught violence. Violence was the norm which evolved to fighting starting with my older brother. Thats all we knew. It wasnt wrong to hurt another person if they wanted to do the same to us. We were determined to WIN. WIN AT ALL COST.... To be continued
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 04:05:15 +0000
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