We are heading toward the holiday season as the year is also nearing its close. It amazes me every year, how quickly life seems to pass. In the holiday season, we often make or break our time with friends and family. They can hold good remembrances or poor ones. Many times we remember that difficult Christmas or that angry fight at Thanksgiving. Some of those holiday times will mark breaks in relationships, perhaps, forever. Expectations arise at holiday time. We are on heightened hopefulness alert. We often have a script that we want directed and acted out according to our desires. It may happen, but it may not. Here are some suggestions to add to holiday bliss rather than take from it: 1 - What do you want from the gathering in advance? Is it reasonable? Is it kind? What are you offering to the time? What kind of person will you bring to the table? Is your behavior helpful, healing, and happy? Remember what was unpleasant in the past? Avoid that, and find what could work for the present. 2 - Be grateful. You may not have your mother-in-law or Aunt next year. In fact, you may not be here. Empty chairs create lots of feelings. People are growing opportunity places. You can decide what kind of person you want to be. You can decide who you dont want to be. You can be kind and remember to be grateful. 3 - So you have a different political party, why does that mean you cant enjoy the other person? I know no one who believes exactly the same. Love doesnt only go and extend to those who see life like we do. Its a beautiful thing to love people in our differences. You grow. There is a peace that invites openness and sharing in the relationship. Is an issue more important than a person? Choose wisely. Avoid creating strife that is not purposeful and necessary. Find common ties. Forgive an offense. Smile. I bet the pie tastes good. 4 - Dont ask some questions or speak some answers. I believe in transparency and honesty, but I believe in wisdom, too. If Susie is sensitive about her relationship and wishing it leads to marriage but it is not there, yet, dont bombard her with questions if she will marry, etc. Let people have their dignity. Its not a free-for-all at gatherings. Familiarity can cause you to trample on those closest to you. Be a walker in wisdom and a talker in wisdom, too. 5 - Give support for what you do have in family and friendship. Tears can get longer and deeper. Why make them so? I know, sometimes, you have no intent and things get that way. Do your best and show your best. A humble attitude goes a lot further than a proud one. I know, sometimes you get accused and your intent was not so. Just keep on. Goodness shows, as it is a pattern...at least most times. Support your bonds, dont weaken the bridge. Carolyn
Posted on: Wed, 23 Oct 2013 14:44:19 +0000
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