“We are tired of bills,” shouted a market vendor,” first it was electricity bills, then water bills now marriage and divorce bill! Where do they expect us to get all this money?” He might sound confused but this man represents a group of people , including me, who can’t figure out what this whole marriage and divorce bill is all about. Many things have been said about marriage. A speaker at a wedding I attended recently said that marriage is not a word. It is a sentence - a life sentence. I later found out that he was forced to marry his current wife after getting her pregnant. What was meant to be a one night stand after a village disco resulted into a permanent stand in marriage. You don’t expect to walk scot free after getting the reverends’ daughter pregnant yet he’s the custodian of purity in the area. I was excited to meet my newlywed friend at the barber shop. I paused that question that newlyweds hate to answer, “How do you find marriage?” He wore a mischievous smile and replied, “It’s like the Middle East, It has no solution.” The guy isn’t yet a month old in marriage and he’s already lamenting. I prayed for peace to be with him all the days of his life. His wife is called Peace. But peace that surpasses human understanding is very hard to find in marriage if you don’t pay attention to detail. Retired Bishop Zac Nyiringiye once said, “ It’s better to be single and wish you were married than being married and wish you were single” I’ll never forget the day, after signing the marriage certificate, the priest handed it over to the couple saying, “Here is your work permit.” It sounded like a joke at the time but the same couple is now working hard for a divorce. I remember my uncle telling me that marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. He is so attached to his wealth that he hasn’t declared some of it to his wife. He hates those strings that attach with a passion. There are questions that a husband will always struggle to answer. Questions that deal with weight, makeup or wigs are like a horror movie in the middle of the night. The wife asks, “Which hair piece should I wear today?” First of all he didn’t know that you had a hair piece let alone knowing what it is. The husband can’t tell a difference between a hair piece, wig or helmet. The worst is when she says, “I think I have gained weight but I’m cutting it. Jane has gained weight too and she looks. What do you prefer?” Such a question will leave him between a rock and a hard place. He knows that if he says that you cut weight then it means he hates your friend Jane, which is a recipe to a misunderstanding, and if he says that maintain the weight then it means he has a thing for Jane which might cause a melee. She would be very lucky to get a word out of him. But the women folk have some degree of justification to complain. They invest a lot in treating and repairing their hair, pedicure, manicure and the husband can’t notice the changes yet he can afford to recognize the scar on his favorite footballer’s face. They prepare your favorite food hoping that you’ll like it and the first thing you do is question the amount of salt in it. Its time men started eating by faith no matter the awkward taste as long as it has been declared your favorite meal. Be quick to notice anything extra ordinary that your wife is wearing even if she’s bare feet. Atleast say something like, “Your feet, especially the nails, look beautiful when well spread on the floor” there you can easily pass if she has changed her pedicure though you didn’t notice. To the wife, please don’t ask questions if you already know the answer. Husbands don’t have the marking scheme. I’m sure it would cause violence if husbands asked questions in the same measure. There are some things that husbands want to know but they keep quiet for the sake of peace in the household. Things like, why do women open their mouth when applying eye shadow? Is it cost effective to apply lip bum then lip stick?
Posted on: Thu, 04 Jul 2013 14:58:12 +0000
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