We dont develop an attachment to a teacher or parent that doesnt care... in a way that allows us to develop a secure sense of self. The hardest thing is when one parent is avoidant or ambivalent (even not there at all) and will not or can not hear a childs needs to have a secure attachment.... if the child does not have a connection that allows them to express their anger or dismay with the parent that is negligent in their love, because of the ambivalence or lack of care they have been given and because the sense they would be heard or seen and understood by the parent that is not there is also missing..... in order to continue to individuate and feel safe, the child will push or test the parent that is available and does create a secure attachment....in order to provide a more secure feeling, over and over to demonstrate to them, it is safe. Feeling safe and individuating, is the highest order of our consciousness...to develop this higher consciousness and not just I do this and this happens lowest order of consciousness, we have to experience the love and safety to be our whole selves...only someone that has a higher consciousness and can be selfless for their child....is capable of providing. No one truly is able to individuate if they have not experienced a secure attachment that allows them to feel the world is theirs to explore and needs them to be happy.... when they have been traumatized by the betrayal of trust engender by the presence of an ambivalent or negligent parent.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 21:57:03 +0000
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