We had the very best conversation at dinner tonight, me and kids. It was all about death. Losing our niece/cousin has be a topic of much conversation the last few days. I have always refused to wrap my kids life up in cotton. Life is joy and laughs but it is also pain and sorrow. Nobody escapes all the ingredients of lifes cocktail. I speak openly and frankly about death with the kids, starting with Felix when my mum died in 2006. Tonight we told our stories about death. We talked about when we spread my mums ashes in the sea, a year after her death. Felix spoke openly about his inconsolable outburst of sobbing and tears on that beach north of Vancouver where he suddenly walked down to the waters edge and started shouting GRANDMA with the most heart-wrenching sobbing. He remembers it so well even though he was five. He spoke about how it felt to touch his grandpa Kurts cold body after he died. Both kids talked about when they were in Spain to spread his ashes in the sea and all the experiences from that trip. I let them talk about it. Because it is so important. Lulu has really been asking about Amandas death and she has been curious about funerals and what happens at them. Loads of important questions that recieve concrete, rational answers. After dinner, Lulu and I were sitting at the table and she suddenly started crying. Really crying. She couldnt tell me why she was crying apart from I just really want to go the funeral. I knew, however, that she was now reacting - as humans react - to the events of the past few days. Even though she never met Amanda but she has met Aunty Cathy and Schae-Lynn last year. Great sobs and rivers of tears that only a long, solid hug could fix. From me and Felix. We finally got to talking as I put her to bed and she formulated her sorrow more clearly. We went to the window and, despite the rain, we saw just one, bright star. We waved. We blew kisses. Because that was Amanda up there. I told her that crying was fantastic. That the whole family is crying these days. I told her that she has the biggest, best heart in the world because of those tears for Amanda. In death there are tears but there is also life and living. There is learning. There are emotions that we need and should not sweep under the rug. Emotions that form us into the best humans we can be.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 19:25:49 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015