We were taught is Sunday school that God created mankind, Adam and Eve, placing them in the Garden of pleasure. This, we were told, was Plan A... that God always intended to hang out in a garden with a couple of naked vegetarians. Everything was going fine. All was perfection until one day- lo and behold- mankind did the unthinkable. He ate Gods apple! Now nobody does that! You cant just disobey God and get away with it. Somebody has to pay the price. God became fuming angry. God, in His holy narcissism, suddenly became enraged. Spitting mad, Gods holiness had somehow been offended. He was personally peeved. The scales of balance had to be set aright. God is love, we are told, but forget not His wrath! Justice had to be paid. That apple had to be accounted for. Somebody would burn over this. Someone was going to feel the full force of His raging, maniacal fury! Bloodthirsty, Gods anger had to be appeased. He had to wreak vengeance and destroy. Ill teach you to eat another apple! And so, with purple veins bulging from His temples, His wild eyes red hot with destruction like Thor swinging His lightning hammer from the sky God was about to open a can of destruction...give you what you deserve! Filled with bloodlust, He reard back His arm...about to unleash the hot kraken of hell on mankind.... But wait! Suddenly Jesus steps in (good cop, bad cop), jumps in front of you... And instead of God hurling His bloodlust upon you, He unleashes it upon His own Son... satisfying His rage by brutally murdering His own Child. This is the part where we are supposed to stand up and cheer. Here is the good news, God really hated you, but since He savagely massacred His own Child, Hes decided to love you as long as you pray this prayer... How convenient, to make a god in our own image. A god of our own making who is conveniently less moral than we are.- John Crowder
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 20:40:20 +0000