Well, I made it a full 3 days... The Vipassana Meditation was interesting. It was powerful. The first 2 days were extremely painful for me. I felt my mind playing tricks...bringing up fears within me that I had not experienced since I was a child. On the third day, I felt full resolution to these fears. I felt full acceptance of myself. Of my power. I could clearly see the power that I had within and I was more connected with my spirit guides and angels than I ever since I was a boy. Then it was made clear to me that I was no longer meant to be there. My guides were telling me it was time to leave. At first, I began to say things like, Oh, thats just my mind playing tricks. Each time I blew off the messages, my guides would get a little stronger. It was clear it was time for me to listen. So I sat in meditation and completely surrendered any outcome. I surrendered the judgment I felt of myself about the possibility of leaving early. I surrendered how unaligned it felt to stay the full 10 days. I surrendered all outcomes and all possibilities. Then, I opened up to one of the Vipassana retreat guides and shared with him my experience and communication with my guides. Despite my desire for compassion within a weak moment, I was faced with anger, hostility, and fear. He asked, Well, are you following the course or are you following your guides? I answered, Both. I didnt see a duality. The deeper I dove into the guidance that was given to focus on my breathe, the more my guides spoke with me and delivered me messages. He continued to push the topic until I gave him an answer. I said, My guides. He didnt like that answer one bit. The next day I sat down the both the teachers of the Vipassana center. They asked my questions about my guides and offered me a resolution. They asked, You can either stay here, cut out complete communication with your guides, and follow our course, or you can take the alternative and continue to follow your guides and leave. What do you decide? I closed my eyes. I felt into the possibilities of both. But I didnt need to. The answer was so clear to me. I could clearly see this was a test of faith. The biggest test of faith that I had experienced since I began shutting off and turning away from the communication with my guides as a child. I knew what I had to do. I knew it was time for me to leave. So I packed up my things and began to get ready to leave. But before I did, I sat down with the retreat guide that I had the altercation with the previous night. I could see he was in a lot of pain from our interaction and the way he treated me. We spoke for a while and he opened up, sharing with me that his anger and resentment were common themes within his life and that they had surfaced again during our conversation the previous night. He expressed his emotions and how bad he felt about the situation. I could clearly see he was in a lot of pain. After I spoke my truth about the situation and he spoke his, he asked for my forgiveness, which I could see was simply a reflection of him asking himself. I turned to him as I said, It has already been forgiven. Everything happened perfectly, exactly as it was meant to. I love you brother. I could see he was partly relieved by my words, but not fully. It felt great to revolve that Karma. To step deeper into my faith and guidance. To follow my heart. As I left the Vipassana center, I felt a mix of emotions. A mix of gratitude, of judgment, of Love, of purpose, of fear. But one clarity trumped them all. I felt faith. FULL faith in myself. FULL faith in my divine guidance. FULL faith that everything was happening, is happening, exactly as it is meant to. In this moment, I took a deep breath in. I felt gratitude. I could clearly see the reason I had come to the center - the reason I had been guided there. I could clearly see the lessons I was meant to learn. I could clearly see that I had stepped into those lessons, accepted those learned, and learned from those lessons. I could, I can, clearly see who I am. Why I am here. On this plant. Right here. Right now. I want to thank you all for the continued support. But most of all, I want to thank my guides, my internal teachers. For truly, the only person that knows what is right for you, is YOU. Much love to you all
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 17:06:24 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015