Well although I have so much on my mind tonight has turned into a blessing for me in one way, my little girl Carlee has had a really really hard time with losing her daddy, well a couple of weeks ago she was very upset with me over a situation and she went home with her aunt Paige Smith Williams for the night, well she opened up that night to Paige and told her her feelings, well she told Paige that she would talk to me every night before she went to bed, Paige told her you can tell your mom your feelings and you can even be angry but you can not keeping treating your mom like this bc its not her fault your daddy is gone, well she came in here about 45 minutes ago and said she wanted to talk to me, she just left and I must say its the best conversation I have had in 5 months, she opened her little heart up to me and told me she wants me to find happiness again she just doesnt want to forget her daddy, I told her nobody will ever replace your daddy and I will never let her forget him, Carlee has had it in her mind that I have a boyfriend which I dont by any means, but she told me tonight mama I dont want you to be alone the rest of your life I just am scared I will forget my daddy if someone else comes into our lives, I assured her that nobody is ever gonna forget him and she can talk about him whenever she wants too no matter what, l then told her but Carlee right now I dont want you worrying about any of that, I told her I dont have a boyfriend Im not in a relationship and for right now thats how its gonna be, I told her if the day comes for that that they will be around whoever it is and get to know that person though it wouldnt be oh well this is so and so and bring him right into their lives before getting to know him, she said mama I really am ok with you having a boyfriend if it makes you happy and said I just get scared of thinking about seeing you with someone besides my daddy, again I reassured her that it wasnt anything she even has to worry about right now but if that day comes I will tell her and then she can get to know whoever it may be and we would just cross that bridge if it ever happens, she said ok and got up gave me a hug told me she loved me and that she was sorry, I told her you dont have to be sorry bc at 9 yrs old i cant imagine the feelings and heartache that she has, she was a huge daddys girl and so it has just really been a lot harder on her, but prayer works bc thats the first time I have seen my real Carlee Rae in a while, just wanted to share this bc prayers are being answered and I am so happy that she is finally opening up and trying to find peace with her daddy being gone, so Paige thank you bc without you talking to her she may never have come to me and decided it was time to be ok with us talking about our feelings about her daddy and it being ok no matter what each of us feel all we have to do is tell each other and it will all be ok and we will work through this together!!!
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 04:27:26 +0000
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