What I have learned from being a host mom/AFSer.... . I wrote this a few years ago and thought Id edit it and add to it: 11 years ago I was approached by a friend to host a boy from Germany. I thought she was a little nuts. When I first read her note that she left on my kitchen counter about a boy that wouldnt get to come to the U.S. unless he had a home in the next couple weeks. I called her and asked how I could find out more about this kid. The next day or so I received a profile on him. I was hooked, but J wasnt. It took some convincing, but he said yes and 3 weeks later we were picking up Josch(Josef) in Detroit. The year was bumpy to say the least, but the bumps were all learning bumps. Here I was 24 yrs old when he arrived and I was going to raise a 16 yr old for 10 1/2 months. Yep, mostly me because Jason worked 2nd shift. We had a good year with him and learned a lot about being parents to a teenager. My kids were only 2yrs and 4months! But in the end we thought maybe it was too much too soon and werent going to do it again. I loved being around the foreign exchange students and was asked to be a liaison, well, that did it in 2005 we hosted Lena from Germany. Then in 2007 Neha from India, 2008 Franzi from Germany, 2009 Lama from Saudi Arabia, and 2010 Izza from Indonesia, spring 2012 Sissel from Denmark and in the fall Kiki from Macedonia, then Tamara from Bosnia and Herzegovina. In between we had Alberto for a few months from Italy and for 3 weeks Em from Thailand. Along the way I was asked to Liaison, help place students, be a Cluster Coordinator for our kids that come on scholarship, and now Hosting Coordinator for the state...all while being a host mom and mother to my 5 kids. When Neha was here, Jasper had just been born. He was a month old when Neha arrived. Crazy huh? Nope. When Sissel came in the fall of 2011 she stayed with another family but ended up with us in the winter. We wanted her in the fall but we were pregnant with our 5th child. So Sissel came to us when Ryder was 3 months old. But it wasnt a problem. Sissel didnt seem to mind the crying nor did Neha. They held and played with those babies like they were their brothers. And you now what, they are! 3 of my kids, Neha, Lama, and Izza were of completely different back grounds then our Germans. Neha is Hindu and doesnt eat beef, and Lama and Izza are Muslim and dont eat pork. Not only that but theyre religons were foreign to me. Sure Id heard of them but didnt really know much about them. Hindus really never that I know of had any bad press on their religon and Muslim....well constantly with bad press. Now with Neha not eating beef, it freaked us out a little because thats what us Americans love to eat...a big fat juicy steak! So how were we going to adapt to this? Turkey and chicken. When we had hamburger, we used turkey burger and if we wanted to have a steak, we cooked a piece of chicken for her. We just had to make sure the chicken fork didnt touch the beef fork. Really not that hard. Then we decided to host Lama and Izza... a little different. Muslims pray 5 times a day and before that they must do absolutions (correct me girls if Im wrong). Which is washing of the arms, hands, face, feet, and a little bit of the hair. So that means water on the floor in the bathroom. Which ended up not being that big of a deal..they pretty much kept it cleaned up. And they dont eat pork. No bbq ribs? Well, again, when we made ribs, they had chicken..really it was EASY! And both girls got here during Ramadan! That was hard. Muslims fast from the time the sun touches the horizon until it goes completely down under it. That means no water at all or food! How were these girls going to be healthy during the 30 days of it? And how were they going to manage to sit through school lunches while every one else ate? Our days here are longer than Saudi or Indonesia...so they had longer hours of not eating or drinking too! They managed to do it the best they could while they were here and I was proud of them. I couldnt do it ....ever! Muslims believe in Allah and every one seems to think this is not God...guess what? It is. Allah is the Arabic word for God. Just like in Spanish God its Dios or in German its Gott. They believe in one God, just like Christians and Jews. But why are so many people against this religon? Our religions in the US have extremists, look at all the cults that have come out of the woodwork and the people leading them saying they were doing it because God told them to. All religions have theyre crazy people. Islam is actually a peaceful religon. They have rules like Christians have the 10 Commandments. Guess what? I would have never learned this if I hadnt become a host parent or an AFSer. All of my Kids have taught me something. Neha told me that Hinduism is more a way of life, and they believe cows are sacred...yep..cows! Cows roam the streets of India because they are protected...so you can walk down a crowded road in India and theres a cow just minding his own business. Crazy! Well maybe to us, but not them. My German kids reminded me a lot of Americans. I think its because so many of us have German ancestry. What all of my kids taught me was to be more patient, understanding and yep, to ask when I dont understand. Guess what, thats what these kids are told when they come here...ASK QUESTIONS! Because if they dont they will never understand things and keep walkng around confused. Most of all I learned that I can love a child that isnt mine like they are mine. I miss them all so much. And even though Im taking a year off from hosting this year..the first time in 9 yrs, I dont think I can or will stop hosting for a very long time. The kids are arriving from all over the world right now...some wont come because of misunderstanding on our parts...a lot of the Muslim kids are being turned away because Its too hard to host one, or I cant have a Muslim in our house because we are Christian. I learned otherwise. Even kids from non-Muslim backgrounds are being told that they may not be able to come after a year of preparing for their stay in the US. Its not all because of their religons, some of it is the economy. But I for one am glad that I started this in my life. I wouldnt change it for anything. I have kids around the world that some day I hope to visit, 4 have come back to see us and I hope the others will too some day. They are our family. But weve kept in touch and that is wonderful! My own children are more global than a lot of other kids theyre age. The understand things that others dont and appreciate that we all are different in many ways. And when the news is on and something happens in another country, they listen and care. We all should. It affects us in ways you wouldnt believe. And if you have ever heard of the Six degrees of separation, you will know someone who the things in the Ukraine, Russia, Libya, Gaza, Palestine, etc. are affecting. Life is better with exchange in it.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 14:49:15 +0000
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