What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do Oct 11 2014 2,399Views 100Likes 26CommentsShare on LinkedInShare on FacebookShare on Google PluseShare on Twitter All of us, from the C-suite to the maintenance crew, are occasionally confronted with a problem or an issue about which we don’t know what to do. Depending upon your experience these moments can be exciting because: ● they open the possibility of learning, discovering, and growing ● or terrifying because they can be felt by you or seen by others as a comment on your capability and/or competence. But in both instances they are definitely a window onto your character. So what do you do at those times when you don’t know what to do? I am proposing a strategy, a holistic approach, weaving together the objective elements of a don’t-know-what-to-do moment with subjective intention to solve the problem. So, what to do? Admit It Many people refuse to admit they don’t know what to do. They rationalize, deny, ignore, and manipulate themselves to prevent losing face in their own eyes and those of their colleagues. The resulting problem is that they disconnect from reality. To maintain their stance they create a fantasy/illusion, a story they invent, and treat it as though it’s real. For example---in the discomfort of an I-don’t-know moment, should you be asked, “Hey, what’s going on?” you might respond with “No problem. No problem:” But by doing that you deny reality and cut yourself off from the only source of solving the problem---i.e. you. Any solution you might imagine will be ineffective at best because it has to do with not losing face rather than the issue at hand. So your first choice is to Admit It. Don’t Go Into The Past When confronted with an I-don’t-know moment people will search their experience for a solution. But whatever they find in the past is the same information or point of view that got them to the current I-don’t-know position. If what you lack is topical you may find an answer in a book or from a colleague. But if you’re confronted with a problem that requires creativity it follows that creativity requires something new. You can ● use your experience to frame the problem; ● strip away what is unnecessary; ● and/or focus your efforts, but the solution is not to be found in the past. It must be discovered or invented or both so that the solution is drawn out of the future---or to say it another way, the solution will create the future. Accept That You Are At A Limit This takes admitting you don’t know what to do to the next level. By accepting this you respond to the situation affirmatively, positively, and without a fight. You don’t chastise or condemn yourself for running up against a limit. You allow reality to be what it is respecting the fact that everyone confronts limits in their lives. The power of acceptance is that it minimizes and even eliminates struggle and makes you available to see differently and more clearly. Resistance adds another layer of distance from what is real for you and it keeps you in place. Acceptance demonstrates your maturity and your willingness to become accessible to the way a solution will emerge, a solution you will not think of otherwise. Listen When you listen you engage with the problem from an open and receptive point of view. You allow the solution, which, by the way, is already present in the problem, to emerge. I use the word “emerge” quite consciously and quite organically to include your creative depths---the unconscious---and your analytical, stepwise awareness---your conscious mind. “Emerge” means to: ● come forth into view as from concealment or obscurity; ● come into existence; ● develop. When a solution, or the beginnings of a solution, emerges this is a creative act. You cannot demand it nor can you wrestle it into being. As I said above, if you struggle it will only bring forth the past which will keep you where you are. Listening is just not intellectual, i.e. conceptual. It is total---your emotions, your intuition, your imagination, your mind---conscious and unconscious. It must be total because you are entering a new space, looking for a solution that has not been present to you before. Because you are in a new space you must explore until you have enough information to decide. Also, a solution can come to your awareness full blown without the need to be developed step-by-step or in bits that must be strung together to make the picture clear. Deep listening is the best method to assure your knowing how to proceed and what to do. Take A Break A simple technique that can allow you to relax is to step away from the problem. When you become blocked continuing to drive will generally just add more blockage to your already blocked up mind. Do something different. Let your thoughts change their attention: drift in reverie, play, go for a walk and enjoy the scenery---do something totally other than concentrating on the problem. It’s been well documented that doing so very often yields an “Aha.” No guarantees. But it’s better that knocking against a wall that at the moment will not allow you entry. Be Patient Some readers will say that patience is NOT a virtue in the business world where you need to move fast. And I don’t disagree. But without patience you will distort the process and your solution will be distorted if not still born. It takes courage to be patient but the outcome will be far more productive and rewarding. What do you think? I’d love to know. (Photo Credit: Doug Caldwell/Flickr) James Sniechowski, PhD and his wife Judith Sherven, PhDJudithandJimhave developed a penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The Fear of Being Fabulous. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing. You are always succeeding. The question is---at what? Currently working as consultants on retainer to LinkedIn providing executive coaching, leadership training and consulting as well as working with private clients around the world, they continually prove that when unconscious beliefs are brought to the surface, the barriers to greater success and leadership presence begin to fade away. They call it Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous.OvercomingtheFearofBeingFabulous Share on LinkedInShare on FacebookShare on Google PluseShare on Twitter
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:11:59 +0000
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