When He Ignores Your Hurt Feelings, Hangs Up on You or Storms Out of the Room ouch !!!! IF HE LEAVES/HANGS UP WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO? PLEASE, DO NOT FOLLOW HIM AROUND FROM ROOM TO ROOM OR CALL HIM BACK OR TEXT HIM. HE NEEDS SPACE!!!!! (I suppose there could be some rare exceptions to this, but you would need to REALLY know your man to know that behavior THIS confrontational would be safe or remotely effective with your guy. Normally it is unwise and disrespectful!) If a girl was upset and stormed out of the room, she may feel unloved if her man didn’t follow her and check on her. If he is shut down and you are very upset – calmly leave or politely say goodbye. You may say “Ouch!” “I’m very hurt.” “I’m so sad.” OR – “Did I do something disrespectful just now that upset you, Honey?” If he continues to not speak - give him some space and wait until he contacts you – that is my recommendation. Do not pressure him to talk. Men sometimes need time to process their emotions. A guy leaves the room because HE NEEDS SPACE. To follow him, text him constantly, call him non-stop and to try to MAKE him have a discussion RIGHT NOW = disrespectful and counter-productive since he may need to think by himself for awhile to know what he is feeling and thinking. Some things to do: calm down!! pray forgive him, take your hurt to God!!!! praise God, sing to Him serve others if you need something to do for a few days. Bake cookies for neighbors, visit a nursing home, volunteer to help with children or pets – keep yourself occuppied in pleasant ways as you pray and wait for God to work and ask God to help you in the forgiveness process. wait patiently – as long as it takes usually! If it is the next day or a few days – that’s ok. Wait on him to initiate calling you or visiting you. He will be curious why you aren’t calling him. He’ll have worked through his feelings. Eventually, if you give him long enough, he’ll start to miss you. He’ll start to feel guilty about how he treated you. He’ll start thinking about apologizing. IF YOU INTERRUPT THIS PROCESS – he won’t be ready to apologize yet! And he may be able to peg YOU as the wrong one and blame you for things not going well without taking responsibility for his own mistakes. I know this is HARD! WAITING when there has been conflict is HARD! It is torture! It seems unbearable! But things will probably turn out much better if you are able to let him process feelings than if you cram all your words down his throat before he is ready. That will just alienate him further, sweet girl! realize that when he has calmed down, he will contact you. Try to let him be the one to initiate contact. If he loves you and has feelings for you – it is extremely likely that he will call you. It just won’t be on your time table. You may have to be patient for several days – maybe longer – depending on the situation and the guy and your level of commitment. realize that while he is away, he is thinking and processing all of your emotions and words. He needs time to decide what to do and how he feels. When he’s ready, he will call you or come back. This process usually can’t be rushed. That’s why it is better NOT to argue and fight! Telling him your needs in positive, pleasant ways without arguing, yelling, name-calling or fighting gets MUCH BETTER results than losing control and going into battle mode. try to concentrate on some other things, and realize that things will probably be better in a few hours or a few days if you give him some space and time. understand that just because he left does not mean he hates you!!!! It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean you won’t reconcile later. It means he needed some space to think and breathe. It is a gracious gift to give him that space. Be ready to apologize for anything you did wrong during the heated exchange. “I am so sorry – I was really disrespectful.” “I am sorry that I lost my temper.” “I’m sorry that I yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.” Don’t explain or justify, just apologize sincerely – once. Be ready to listen and really hear what he is saying. He may tell you something you did that hurt him. Don’t defend yourself. Apologize where you were wrong. Hear his heart. Really strain to listen to him and don’t be thinking so much about what you want to say. He has spent hours or days working through his emotions – what he is saying to you in this moment is CRITICAL! If you want things to work with this guy – this is the most important time to listen!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 08:50:34 +0000
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