When I was but a young L2 judge, I thought I was the greatest. I had lots of reasons to think so - I was advancing quickly, I had important friends, and I was being given lots of opportunities. In the judge program I got everything I wanted and then some. One day, the wise Jeff Morrow mentioned to me that I was developing an attitude. I hadnt stopped to consider it, but he was right, and I knew that. I felt that my skill gave me the right to act a certain way and expect certain things, and of course, that was completely inappropriate. Since then I have been much more prone to self-reflection, not only as a judge but also as a person. There will not always be a Jeff Morrow to tell me why Im doing it wrong. There will not always be a trusted friend with the right mix of care for me and lack of fear about my reaction to stop me from doing stupid things. I have to make sure I take care of that myself. To be fair, before starting as a certified judge, I had lost the entirety of my self-confidence due to real-life issues. Being a judge - a really good judge, I thought - and receiving the praise and opportunities I did helped me remember I was someone worth being. Unfortunately, as people tend to do, I swung from one extreme of self-loathing to another extreme of complete self-adoration. Luckily, the little tap I got from J-Mo helped me back on the right path. Why is this important? Well, first off, its important to be honest with yourself and to reflect upon your mistakes. If someone says youve done something wrong, then assuming theyre wrong is a dangerous thing. I dont see as much self-reflection in the judge program (or in people) as I might like, because its very easy to assume that other people are wrong about what they think youre doing wrong. If you get negative feedback you dont agree with, think hard about why you dont agree. Ask for details. Dont act like youre being oppressed - youre just receiving well-intentioned criticism from someone in an organization that is supposed to welcome that very thing. I think its more important in the abstract, though. For a while, judges have been getting what they want. Foils at GPs, foils at conferences, foils on foils on foils. Increased comp, more options, etc, etc. The tide has been rising for a while. Suddenly, though, things arent what they were, and its easy as a group to act out inappropriately as a reaction. Im not trying to chastise anyone for doing this - Im certainly not innocent of it myself. My point is that what we do after making these mistakes matters. Did you do something bad at an event? Did you do something stupid online? Great. We all do. Remember it well and dont repeat it. Reflect on what you did and how it might indicate an issue that could lead to other problems. Attack the root cause, not the symptoms. Is something broken in the program? Lets root cause it and fix it instead of lashing out at each other. What you did then has already happened. What you do now matters.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 15:59:47 +0000
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