When I was six, I loved bouncing on my space hopper, feeding the ducks, and eating chicken nuggets and chips for tea. (I had no idea that one day, food would become the enemy) When I was eight, I loved playing with dolls, colouring in books, and Brownie Pack Holidays. (I had no idea that ten years later, holidays would be unmanageable, because of the anorexia which was trying to claim my life. Instead, Id spend periods of time away from home in hospital, admitted as an inpatient on an eating disorder unit) When I was ten, I loved handstands and cartwheels, penny sweets from the newsagents, which Id visit after school with friends. (I had no idea that Id later experience the heartbreak of having three friends lose their lives to eating disorders) When I was fourteen, I loved reading, sleepovers, and playing on Neopets; my Nan & Grandads house was my second home. (I had no idea that one day, Id see my own Nan reduced to tears, as she desperately tried to coax me to eat a spoonful of porridge, fearing for my life) When I was sixteen, I loved fancy dress parties and going out with my friends. (I had no idea how, before the year was out, things would very quickly fall apart - how Id become a shadow of my former self) In the throes of anorexia, held so tightly by its deathly grip, I had no idea that I was so ill. For a long time, I simply couldnt see a way out of the darkness - I had no idea that hope was real, that recovery was possible. But today, I know otherwise. Hope is real (truly, it is) Recovery is possible (yes - for you too). Ive come SO damn far from where I used to be - and I can promise you this - it. gets. better. (SO much better) To finish with a quote from a lovely lady, who is a total inspiration to me, and whom Im honored to call a dear friend: There is a way out. You don’t have to suffer alone. There are people out there who want to love you, who would be honored to bear witness to your pain. Healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. We are human and we have an inherent need to see and be seen, to touch and be touched. No one heals heartbreak alone. ~ Chelsea Roff With love and hope - on Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and always
Posted on: Fri, 28 Feb 2014 15:55:57 +0000
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