When Jacob was younger he was really into gaming. His favorite (still, I think - Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2). Hed play those games for hours - night and day. Hed be in his room with the door closed playing on-line and Id hear the gunfire and his voice as he talked to those he was playing with. He hosted lobbies for a long time and really got good at it. He was very popular for a while in the gaming community and because I care about him, I became interested and learned a lot too. I never did get too good at playing the games but every now and then hed let me take his controller when he was on-line. Id get him shot or blown up within a minute or two - the screen turning red hed smile at me. Sorry honey, Id say, handing the controller back to him. Hed look at me with the sweetest expression, Its okay Mom, you did good. No, really, Mom - you did!, hed say. I spent countless hours laying on the floor or across his bed watching him play different scenarios but it was hard because the movement in the games made my vertigo condition really bad. Id look off to the side of the screen and use my peripheral vision when it was bad like that, but Id stay because it was so cool to me that he even wanted me there at all. He was 11, 12, and 13 at that time. My favorite of all though, was when he would call me in to his room after he had just beat a whole game. At the end there would always be this great music, sometimes orchestrated, other times just really great metal stuff and you know me, I love it all! Wed listen to the music together, sometimes over and over, and hed have this kind of melancholy expression on his face - kind of lost and sad. He hated it when a game ended - he became the game and got attached to everyone in it. Those days are gone now...he is away from home and the sounds of the gunfire of gaming has been silenced. There is no one on the other side of the door but the music, like this song, still exists and it takes me back to a good time, to special moments shared, to my son. Miss you J-Man. If you only knew how much.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 20:57:39 +0000
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