Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? Im a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated. Gambled and whored. Im not particularly good at violence, but Im good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was ten, I stuffed my uncles boots with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry! [makes masturbation gestures] Into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel... - Tyrion
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 04:18:59 +0000
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