Why I will never be a crazy cat lady. Cats are jerks. My parents have 3 cats. They share a litter box, which I clean out twice a day. Apparently this is not often enough. They do not like using a soiled litter box. Quite frequently they wait for me to scoop their buried treasures, impatiently watching as I scoop and sift. Occasionally they do not appreciate my thoroughness and hop into the pan even as I am still sifting and raking. Cats thrive on routine. They want to be fed at the same time every day, and they demand that their litter be refreshed at the same precise time, every day. No excuses. On the rare occasion that I have missed said appointed time, they set out to punish me. One time I walked in to find an offering deposited on the floor, a mere 6 inches from the pan. I scolded the cats but their eyes blamed me for being delinquent on my sanitation duties. The next time I was late, I found a gentle reminder on the floor towel that I had forgotten to hang up to dry. Disgusted, I threw the towel away, scolded them and stressed that towels are not piddle pads. They barely even made eye contact during my lecture. But I knew they had been listening because a week later I found a towel in the litter box in an obvious act of retaliation. Again I lined the culprits up and explained why we must cover our treasures with litter and not the towels. I did not know that cats could roll their eyes until that moment. Let me point out that I really do clean the litter box twice a day. I scoop in the morning, and then again in the evening, at which time I also add fresh litter to the top. But sometimes I get in late. It was in one such late day that I walked into the potty chamber and found that some cat had removed the top of the Kitty litter box and had placed it neatly on the floor next to the litter pan. I lifted the cardboard cover to replace it on the box of unused litter, and was greeted by a fresh turd. So now they are concealing their indiscretions like IEDs. Those little bastards! The following day the lid was once again removed from the box and placed on the floor, but this time it held a stool specimen. I was done with the lid game and threw it away. I rounded up the usual suspects, lined them up and reiterated the importance of making ALL deposits IN the designated areas. Again with the eye rolling and tail twitching. The last straw was when I cleaned the litter pan and dumped some fresh litter on top. Along with the baking soda fresh litter came 2 big clumps of dampened litter. It took me a moment to process the information. Some cat, in an act of total defiance, had actually peed in the box of Kitty litter itself. Now the opening of this box is only about 6x14 inches. How the heck!? Did a cat actually jump inside and squat, or perch on the edge and just let it fall? Their deviant ways knows no limit. Cats are jerks. And that is why I will never be a crazy cat lady.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 19:10:07 +0000
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