Why cant I start healing? Why is it so hard for me to loose you..I mean i know how much I love u still now n forever but God I need something..I need the strength to calm down and know that shes with u in paradise . Two weeks ago today became the worst day of my life. As I literally had to leave my job and come straight to ur grave and Ben laid a sheet out on the ground for me and all we can do is lie here with Ben holding me tight as Im crying n shaking uncontrollably while we look back on happy pics of u. I never thought this could happen to us..but who are WE? it can happen to ANYONE and I seriously dont know how to control my emotions. I lost a huge part of my life and Im so scared that Ill never be the happy positive person I used to be. My heart is lying in ur grave ..my tears wont stop. Will this ever get better or easier? I know u were so young and u didnt understand how much we ALL love you but I sure hope u know now. Theres no words to describe the pain and I dont know how long itll take before I can look at ur pics or videos or even speak of u without crying hysterically. BRYELLE JORDAN STRANGE I SURE HOPE THAT U KNOW HOW MUCH JOY N HAPPINESS U BROUGHT IN OUR LIVES IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME! God..I miss her so much but Im beggin u to plz help us ALL to grieve in healthy ways. I feel like Im grieving too much..is that possible? I just want to start healing. Maybe I need counseling ..Im sure I do. Im so lost ..never felt so empty. I HAVE to get myself together so I can be here and be strong for my daughter Brent and kaytie and my children! Lord plz give me the strength ..plz Jesus. I have let myself go..emotionally, physically, mentally ..I have no one to vent to or talk to. Im alone all the time. Anyways..Lord Im just asking for ur help to start healing! Thank you for Bryelle! Thank u for the almost 3 months we had her. Plz bless our family Jesus wehurt so bad . I love you Bryelle Jordan Strange always n forever! #TEAMBRYELLE
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 19:02:11 +0000
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