Why do men need sports action replays 30 seconds after the event? Because they’ve forgotten what happened. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. Why did God create man first? Because he needed a rough working model before creating the perfect specimen of the species. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They’re married. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. What’s the smartest thing a man can say? “My wife says….” Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions. Men are like…..Vacations. They never seem to be long enough. Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. Men are like…..Snowstorms. You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last. Men are like…..Lawn Mowers. If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Why did god invent men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One … men will screw anything. What’s a man’s idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 09:07:16 +0000
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