Wow Miami has encouraged me to become a blog writer. So let me tell you about our experience... Feel free to laugh along. 2 days ago we arrived to what appeared to be a well put together city- and we decided to take the public transit system. A- to save money and B- for the experience. Some things should be left to wonder. Let me tell you a couple things I have learned about Miami since weve been here... It is impossible to order food appropriately at McDonalds if one doesnt speak Spanish, and it makes me happy that I own a vehicle at home, as using the Miami public transit system has threatened my life, sanity and mental health. There is a huge Cuban influence here as a lot of immigrants seem to migrate from Cuba, and the cultural differences of this one city have me believing I have moved millions of miles across the globe. In any case, the bus drivers drive with rage, threatening every driver in the city if they arent flooring their gas pedals three seconds BEFORE the light changes. They are experts at hurling elderly people across the insides of the bus as they slam on brakes to avoid hitting the person that theyve been aggressively tailgating and harassing for the past 5 miles and then they coerce you into a public transit system by flaunting the fact that you can go anywhere in Miami all day for only $5.63 a person. Wow - what a bargain. Well, that $5.63 landed us through bus, trains, metro rails and moving sidewalks. We first set out on a journey to find food. The beach seemed like a logical place to find food. So we passed on the hotel restaurant here on site and made our way back to the airport. From there we caught a monorail to the grand central station and took the express city bus to the beach. Little did they tell us that this express bus to the beach and back was just a regular city bus with regular stops and we would have to know when we wanted to get off. Brilliant. NOT! Well after our express 23 minute bus ride turned into an hour and ten minutes, we finally just picked a place to get off at Miamis most happening beach. So we got off at South Beach... Somewhere between the beach and some hotels. Again, logically thinking wed find food, we set out. Lucky us there is some music festival going on. Girls half naked, guys half naked, and old men flaunting things that shouldnt be seen by natural daylight ever again when gravity takes them that close to the ground. Well finally, we realize there is no family friendly places to eat here. All clubs and lounges but no real restaurants or anything close to resembling a fast food chain, and Im sure that our name is not on one of these VIP lists, no matter how cool we look with a backpack full of diapers and teething rings dangling from behind, and Cameron strapped to my front kicking his new pumps in the wind. So we foregoed trying to break into the lounges. Asking a cop for some directions to food, he tells us we can walk to a McDonalds which is only a mere 44 blocks away. Splendid! So we gave up on that, jumped on a bus- only to realize we were on the wrong bus- we got off a few stops down the line. We ended up at a hotel with a terrace that had a contracted subway inside. So thats where we ate. Well, while we were eating our subway I look down the street and tell Amy, hey- theres thats bus we just got off of! One stop down the street... we assumed it was slow moving. Until... 4 cops, an ambulance and a fire truck swarm it. WHAT HAD WE JUST AVOIDED!? Dont know, dont care, and dont care to know... But we were getting the heck out of dodge! We asked a Lady who fortunately spoke enough English to understand us, where to go- and she told us how to get back to the bus. Taking her advice we get back on the bus and we end up back on our way to our hotel. Well yesterday things got even more fun! We take a bus to the local dolphin mall where our small family of three must look so rich as we are approached by a man who tells us he needs money for food. We respectfully decline, not carrying any cash and he goes and sits down. Next thing we know, he boards the bus we are on and proceeds to try and persuade the driver to let him pass for free. Uh NO! The driver lets him know he will have to pay to stay, and he pulls out a wad of crumpled bills and pays the fare. WHAT!? You just asked me to give you money for food? And you dont see this 14 month old I am carrying around? Babies dont eat for free- this isnt Dennys! To much dismay, I hold my comments and travel back to central station. Its getting near lunch so we want to eat- We took the train into downtown Miami and got off, had a nice lunch at Wendys where we met two nice ambulance workers and then went back to board the train to get back to central station. Well lucky us that weve decided to come to Miami one of the busiest party weekends ever! The train is in the station, packed to the max and I ts not moving. Why? Some chick has barfed all over the inside of one of the cars and the conductor has locked it down. Well apparently, these trains do more than shuttle Miami partiers and tourists like us. There was a couple of people that live here trying to get to work. Well another train came as this one sat here, and the original conductor, having locked it down didnt allow anyone off thereby not allowing anyone to get on the new train. Well this made a lady attempting to get to work quite upset as she shouted vulgar things at the conductor and possibly hoping to see her eloquently fall underneath the path of a speeding rocket. Feeling that this was a bit too much drama for our little family of three, we vacated the area. We found a bus to go back on. You might think the drama would end now, but no. Our child having been exceptionally well behaved through all this, has now decided hes had enough. Being the great parents we are, like any parent we made every attempt to keep him happy. Amy sat in one seat, I sat in another and we let Cameron play and stand in the one between us on the bus, pressing his nose against the glass and waving to the cars and pedestrians passing by. Again, our language barrier fails us in this country of Miami... Two ladies start squabbling and fighting in our half full bus. They were sitting next to each other and one said something to the other, which made her mad and then it only escalated as the people in the rear of the bus chuckle looking on. They were screaming and the one went from sitting to standing and she yanked the cord to get off the bus. Then the other came and sat beside us. The one got off the bus and I finally asked the lady beside me that stayed what that was about. In her best attempt at Spanglish (which involved 3 English words) and some strange hand gestures she explained that the other lady was mad because Cameron had his own seat. Really? Stop being such a prude. Do you want to hear him scream for this 40 minute bus ride? And had the bus filled or had any indication of someone needing a seat, Id have held Cameron and stood myself. In any case, we ended up back at grand central station made our way back to the hotel and retired to our room, attempting to hide from all this uncertainty and insanity. Today- we avoided all chance of boarding any form of Miami Dade public transit. Ill trust my own little piggies to get me where I wanna go.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 17:16:33 +0000
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