Wow... So Ive just done one of the most stupid things Ive ever done and had one of the most surreal experiences Ive ever had. Strap yourselves in, folks. This could take a while... Lets start from the beginning of my day, shall we? It started at 6 AM. Id had four hours of sleep, which is about the usual, and decided to trot off to my Granddads. Hed left to go to the Commonwealth Games and had asked me to water the plants in his greenhouse while he was gone. After that, I did a little bit of housework, a little bit of homework, and a little bit of personal work, and then, finally, headed off to work. My hours took me through mid-afternoon to late evening. My Job has turned out to be quite a bit more than simply waiting on, but its still not too strenuous unless its busy... Which it was. It had been the best shift Id done in the sense that Id only made one mistake, but it was hectic. Good Lord, it was mental. And the worst of it all? Apparently it gets much, much worse... But, not to fret, its good company and good pay, so Ill manage. So, its now half ten and Ive just received the largest tip Id ever had: Twenty pounds of meat. For some reason, this couple had entered in a raffle we were running for a load of meat, without thinking of the possibility of winning. They were tourists, so they had nowhere to store the meat and decided to give me it instead. Of course, I was grateful, but when it came to roughly eleven and I had knocked off I was sitting, scratching my head, wondering what the hell I was going to do with this turkey, bacon and black-pudding. Heres where things start to get funny. Across the past 48 hours Id slept for 7, I had slashed my hands, blistered my feet to buggery, bashed my ribs and the trapped-nerve in my shoulder was playing up. Between the pain and the fatigue, I was not thinking very clearly. I was pretty delirious, really. Then suddenly, a spark! A brilliant idea! I always go to Granddads on Christmas for dinner, so Ill give him a turkey for once! So I set off on my way. I was given a slightly see-through carrier bag to lug it in, so the meat and blood pressed up against the side could actually just be seen through it. A mile later, Im at my Granddads doorstep. It is now quarter-past eleven at night. I ring the doorbell and wait for somebody to arrive. They dont. I go into a bit of a trance. Im now just standing, staring at a closed door. What feels like moments later, I realise somethings up and ring the bell again, glancing at my watch. At first I dont register what its telling me, but then I look again. Its now quarter-to twelve. I had been standing at the doorstep of my Granddads house for half a bloody hour in the middle of the bloody night to give him a ton of meat. AND HE WASNT EVEN THERE! Of course, hed gone off to the bloody Commonwealth Games, I was watering his damn plants, how could I forget!? So I turn around and trudge back home to cram the meat in my fridge. Now, lets put another spin on this, shall we? Lets say you glance out of your window the moment a chap struts up to your neighbours door at 11:15 and rings the bell. Nobody answers. Hes not leaving. There is a man at your neighbours house, simply standing there, staring at the door, unmoving. Five minutes pass; hes still there. Ten minutes pass; hes still there. Fifteen minutes pass; hes still there. You look at his hand. Hes carrying a slightly see-through bag, and you see that pressed up against it is a load of bloody meat. What the hell are you going to think? Youre gonna be pretty freaked out, staining your pants, phoning the police even. And then he just leaves. Gone, just like that. What the bloody hell are you going to think? Little do they know, it was just some strange teenager, completely out of it, trying to give his Granddad some turkey and pork, amongst other things. ...I think its probably best if I go to sleep now. Im pretty tired. Night.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 22:52:48 +0000
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