YES! Thomas Fiffer of The Good Men Project shared an amazing article about the signs to watch for from a victim player. At the end of the article he laid out the contrast- Things to expect from a true survivor....one that takes responsibility and is NOT letting the tragedy of life define them!! THIS IS BTG STATUS right here! Are you doing these things in your own life? In contrast to the five red flags that reveal a VP, the five traits below are common to true survivors, people who have been through tragedy and determined not to let it define them. 1. Resilience. Survivors are fighters. They overcome things, and they are proud of their accomplishments. They don’t get upset over small stuff and don’t manufacture crises. They’re already part of a supportive community, and they get appropriate help if and when they need it. A survivor doesn’t need to enslave a pawn, as he or she himself may have been similarly trapped. The very thought is distasteful. 2. Genuine concern for your welfare. If a survivor asks you for a favor—small or large—your own needs will be considered, and there will be an option to refuse with no guilt. A survivor does not try to overstep your boundaries and fully expects you to maintain them. 3. Progressive self-reliance. A survivor has determined to leave being a victim behind. A survivor may need a lot of help walking in the beginning, but each step is a step towards greater independence. The last thing he or she wants is to dwell on the past (though it remains haunting) and to depend on another person for emotional or financial security. 4. Appropriate appreciation. A survivor says thank you in a way that’s commensurate with your contribution. You will feel gratified, not overwhelmed. 5. Engaging you in their healing process. This is the ultimate sign of friendship. A survivor considers you truly helpful and a blessing not if you enable dysfunction and dependence but if you participate as a partner on the journey of healing. - See more at: goodmenproject/ethics-values/5-signs-youre-being-played-by-a-victim-fiff/#sthash.SiuUHXHO.6tSAxAYL.dpuf
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 18:03:44 +0000
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