Yehoshua first advises us that we make for ourselves a rabbi. We discussed recently (Mishna 4) the role of the Torah scholar within Judaism. As we saw, a rabbi is hardly a religious functionary, conducting services at a synagogue, wedding or funeral, nor is he simply one who is asked to decide matters of Jewish law. A true rabbi is firstly one who serves as a role model for his community, who not only teaches G-ds Torah, but who lives and exemplifies those same values as well. Second, the true Torah scholar is one who is imbued with the entire gamut of Torah knowledge -- and thus, he is the only one truly able to take that wisdom and apply it to real life situations. Life is far more complicated than ritual and religious ceremony. We are constantly faced with challenges -- struggling with our own natures and in our relationships with others. Many of the decisions we must make during our days and in the course of our lives are in reality religious by nature. Our mishna additionally tells us to acquire for yourself a friend. This connects closely to Yehoshuas first statement of making for myself a rabbi. We are dealing firstly with a friend in the spiritual sense -- one who assists me in my religious and personal growth. True friends are those who grow together, who share their feelings, and who grow as individuals. They are open and sincere with one another, and are practically the only ones who can (perhaps) give advice and criticism freely and openly. King Solomon wrote: Faithful are the chastisements of a friend, while burdensome are the kisses of an enemy (Proverbs 27:6). A friend is one from whom I grow, and who will point out to me my faults (often indiscernible to myself) and instruct me in how to realize my potential. Ones rabbi is usually somewhat older and more established than he. Everything he says is wonderful and inspiring -- he makes it all sound so easy. But he doesnt *really* know what its like to come from where I come from, and how difficult it would be to break away from parents, friends, culture, habits and everything else I would have to leave behind. And this is where friends come in. A friend is an equal; he speaks your language. He may even share your background and history. He knows where youre coming from because hes been there himself. And he might just help you figure out how *you* can apply truth to your life, and how it can all become meaningful and relevant to you. There is a second, unrelated concept behind the idea of acquiring a friend. We dont just make friends for ourselves; we must invest in and acquire them. Friendships are two-way affairs. A relationship with a rabbi or teacher, as valuable as it may be, is basically passive. Although questioning and objecting are very much a part of the students role (as well learn later, The bashful student will not learn (2:6), for the most part the student is enjoined to assume a humble, submissive role -- as we saw recently in Mishna 4, Cleave to the dust of their feet. Developing friendships, however, requires a much greater investment of time and effort. We purchase friendships by our willingness to share our feelings, stay up late discussing our problems, and be available to help him get through his difficult times. The investment may be great, and we may not learn as much as we do from our teachers. But relationships are yet another necessary ingredient towards developing ourselves as human beings and fulfilling our missions on this earth. Selected Paragraphs Commentary By Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld. Pirkei Avos. Chapter 1, Mishna 6(a)
Posted on: Wed, 23 Oct 2013 11:42:42 +0000
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