Yesterday I officiated the wedding of my dear friends Syd London and Jay Toole in the cryingest wedding I have ever been a part of. By approximately a billion percent. (yes, I cried, but I cry at everything so you cant measure by me). I have always been astounded by Jay and Syds understanding of, and commitment to, community in a real and substantial way. They made vows, not to each other, but to the community and then their assembled loved ones made vows to them. It was really striking and beautiful. Some of the folks who were there wanted me to share what I said as part of my charge to explain why radical queers are getting married. Stripped of the most personal parts about Syd and Jay here is (more or less) what I said: [story about their relationship then...] If we want to change the world, if we believe that what we get up and do every day is important, makes a difference, then how we love each other matters. This is not about a couple, or they could have gotten married at city hall. This is about a community. Paul Monette wrote in The Last Watch of the Night, of telling his partner whom he met in the early years of the epidemic it was my job to persuade him that we could fall in love anyway, embracing between the bombs. All of us, in different ways have all been a part of the war that the dominant culture has waged against those who are a question mark in the face of the capitalisms exclamation point; a war on queer people, a war on people of color, on people living with mental illness, people who are homeless, people with disabilities, immigrants, and so many more. I could make this list for days. Yet and still we have survived. We have survived against all odds and this...this is what we have left. Queer love, defined mostly broadly, is what we have left. And not just romantic queer love, but queer friendship, and queer community. It is what we have left. And is, it is everything. This is what we celebrate today.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 09:06:57 +0000
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