You can always tell when a cashier is bored, because they tell you some random story. Ive done that job, and I get it. I always try and listen. Ive let people tell me they collect National Geographic magazines while my frozen yogurt melts. Ive let people tell me I looked like Stalin and they can call off the search for Stalin, because theyve found him shopping for Old Goats Cheese. Instead of telling the latter that Stalin stole my ancestors wealth and drove them out of the Old World, and instead of telling the former that the print run of National Geographic is so high that the individual issues are basically worthless, I smiled and played along. You found me, comrade. Wow, do you put them in those leather binders? Those look so nice on the shelf! You have to have empathy, or the whole damn species is gonna crack off the Earth to be replaced by whatever lives in those frozen seas underneath Titans surface. However, it’s the wrong move to engage a cashier or service person if they dont engage you first. Like, Busy day? is cool, or, Thanks, I have my own bag, or Doing all right? But if you think they need your help, youre opening up a can of resentment. We have a weird thing at work where you have to have security access to the stairwell. For whatever reason, they dont trust the passkeys, and a human being has to stand in there. It makes for a tight fit, but I guess the security folks can feel confident no one has… grappling hooked into the building, eeled through the air ducts, leapfrogged the lasers, straightened their tie, and entered our floor via the staircase. The staircase shift has got to be hell. You just stand in a concrete cell watching people go up and down stairs with open laptops and with arms full of food from the cafeteria. Most of them stand with a clipboard and pretend to count you, and they retain a kind of dignity, but one of them just sits on the floor. She just lays there like a lump of lady cop. Some of them speak to you, Have a good meeting! Mmm, lunch smells good today, chief! but she doesnt say anything. She probably only activates if your card doesnt work. Today, I was struggling at the door with a giant iced tea and a steaming box of bok choy, and she was just staring at the wall, and I was like, Hey, wouldnt it be great if these doors had cup holders? Then I could put my tea in there, open the door and take my tea back. Her dead gaze just sank further toward the floor. I was like, As it is, I have to hold the tea in the crook of my arm, and Im afraid it will spill. Ha ha! Nothing. I just went up the stairs, and I felt terrible. I mean, shes obviously depressed, and a corporate dude with a bulging sack of rare foods and organic tea trying to reach out probably isnt… the best avatar of Cheer up, Charlie. Im sure I was just another dark figure navigating the MC Escher painting shes trapped in. Maybe I even looked upside down to her.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 19:16:17 +0000
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