You dont know me and will meet me at the corner drug store. Without being the slightest bit embarrased I can tell you that I have been deeply depressed for the last 4 weeks. It outed itself in panic attacks and paralellizing fear, however real or imagined. Maybe because I just turned 55, my clothes dont fit me because I gained weight, have no retirement and the one vehicle that I do own (a motor scooter) is never running properly. In additioin to that I have no girlfriend at the time and dont think I can run fast enough to catch the ones I would scare off. I considered what was scaring the crap out of me and then I considered what I could do about it and then I gave myself a pep talk about the girlfriend problem. What is better, a man who loves himself for what he is or is loved for what he has? What is better, a man who is satisfied with what he has or is never satisfied no matter how much he has? What is better, a man who can write an insurance policy or a man that can write a (good) poem? What is more courageous, a man who a man who has it good or a man that must fight to survive and does it? At 11:00 this morning somebody flicked the switch and it was over. I had a good breakfast, did the dishes and some way along the way to whiping off the counters my depression just vanished. I keep looking around the corners to see if it was following me but alass it has left me for other haunts. I hope you dont get it. I have no money in the bank. I have no retirement. I have no nice clothes that fit me and my shoes are not shined (this is easy to change but not everything at once), my apartment is not straightened up (easy to change) and definitely not clean (a bit more difficult), but if I believe that I can change and am doing the best I can. If I can be happy with myself I will be much more attractive and maybe just the right woman will come along. I need to think like this, otherwise I am lost. CA Roberts
Posted on: Mon, 02 Jun 2014 21:24:17 +0000
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