You know... I think that sizes for female clothing was designed by a female to drive males crazy. Think about it. Males have two basic sections that we find clothes in: Boys or Mens. Thats it. Then there are the basic definitions of X-Small, Small, Medium, Large and Extra Large. Our pants sizes are measured in inches such as 30-36 (30 inch waist and 36 inch inseam). So far, so good. Now we get to female clothes. Herein lies a problem for most men. You see, we go to the store thinking: Ill just pop in and pick my wife or daughter up something pretty to wear. So, since our wives are usually considered women we, obviously and obliviously, go to the Womens section. First mistake. Then once we find something we think would look good on our wife we take the time to ask the sales lady on the floor what size a 10 - 14 is in real world measurements (i.e., small, medium, large, Extra Large etc.). This is the second mistake and the one that makes all men want a beer or a dose of Prozac (or a beer and a dose of Prozac with a chaser of something for a headache). You might wonder why this is (if youre a woman). The answer, in short, is because YALL ARE INSANE! Seriously, I went to a store and asked the lady there something similar to what I just described and here is what I found out about womens sizes. Instead of just knowing whether the lady youre shopping for is X-small, Small, Medium, Large and Extra Large you have to know if she shops for: Misses sizes Misses petite sizes Young junior sizes Junior sizes Junior petite sizes Womens sizes Womens petite sizes Women’s plus sizes Tall sizes Half sizes And THEN, you actually have to figure out the number code (which, I swear, would boggle the mind of Stephen Hawking (In fact Im fairly certain that before he constructed his theory of Everything and concluded there was No God he went shopping for the love of his life and became completely deluded). Did yall know there was such a thing as a size 00 (thats a double zero for those of you who think I may have just made a mistake). The first time I was told that I needed to pick up a size ZERO (0) for a lady I actually laughed and said something akin to: Yeah, right. Theres no such thing as a size zero. Give me a break. That would mean the lady wasnt even in existence. Of course the ladies who told me this had to spend a half hour convincing me they were on the level and, even once Id left their presence and entered the store I was certain I was going to be laughed at by the lady I found to help me. Of course, she knew exactly what she was talking about and was the one who casually read off the labels as she looked for a pair of jeans, Lets see... weve got double zero, zero, one half, one... I kid you not. Seriously folks, the ONLY thing that I can imagine should even EVER qualify as a size ZERO is one of those French thong bikinis -- you know the kind... the kind that hide in ones derriere and only fit people who have been photoshopped so that their arms look similar to the stick figure people weve all seen drawn to illustrate the latest and greatest multi-level marketing scheme. Ugh!!! Lonnie (RevLon)
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 02:57:06 +0000
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